Time is something I write about a lot. Time is standing still. Time is flying by.

There's never enough time.

Time is a construct of our own mind.

It lives only in perception. Created to help keep track of what a day is and to separate it from the last.

It's a new day.

If only yesterday.

There's always tomorrow.

But that isn't true, is it?

Tomorrow only exists in your mind. You could walk outside in an hour and get hit by a car on the way to the grocery store. And then people may say, "It's not fair, it was too soon. We wish we had more time."

More time. As if it's something that can be acquired and bargained for. I think what people really mean to say is, "I wish I hadn't wasted the time I had."

Time can be a warden of the prison in your mind,

the kind that traps you inside memories,

the memories that trap you inside your pain,

the pain that replays the memories of things you wish you could change; mistakes you've made, people you miss,

and oh, how you reminisce. But what if tomorrow doesn't exist?

Take a deep breath. Inhale. Exhale.

Time just is. And you are here. Now. In this moment.

What will you do with it?

Delasity is a word of my own creation. Delasity is all that exists beyond our limited understanding or comprehension in this lifetime, as we know it. I remember sitting outside at night many, many years ago, watching the trees sway in the wind, seeing the many stars in the sky and the mood shining its light and casting its shadows. I felt at peace, and in complete awe. In that moment, I could feel everything that exists beyond what my eyes can see, and my mind was opened to the immensity of what we do not know or understand, and how even if we could know the answers to all the mysteries surrounding the meaning of life, we could never fully comprehend what those answers would mean with our human minds. It's just too big, too immense, too boundless and limitless to be contained within our human form.

This is Delasity.

I fantasize for all to see, you are being controlled subliminally.

You are told what to think and who to be,

On the radio, in the magazines, the newspapers, the TV!

Oh, what a fantasy! Imagine what it could be,

with no more news media telling you why you should hate me.

We don't have to agree on everything,

but what if we realize this is okay? So we welcome our differences with open minds

and open hearts. We sit and listen to a different perspective with intent to learn and not to harm. And the more we listen, the more we see that so many of us want so many of the same things.

Do you ever stop and wonder what this world would be

without hate; war; greed; poverty?

What if we all woke up one day and...actually woke up. We all realize we have been sold lies by the people in power who convinced us there is a line,

and you must pick a side...all just to cause a great divide.

We awake from our slumber with groggy eyes and foggy minds that begin to clear, tasting the garbage we swallowed and hearing the fading echo of compliance that's been whispered in our ears.

And as the dust clears, we begin to build a world together filled with much more love than hate,

my fantasy of a world that only a new reality can create.

Our love was short,

sweet like candy,

bitter like a cherry tart.

You stole my heart,

I became prisoner to your soul,

Freedom is the price I paid.

I never should have stayed,

but I played the game,

and neither of us came out a winner.

As months went on, my world became dimmer,

I am a shadow of darkness,

in a world of blue.

Bruises fade but I can't forget you,

cold like February,

There's no escaping the pain.

I flinch now when I hear your name,

as the train takes me far away,

and I know I will never be the same.

I imagine a world for my daughter that never existed.

I fantasize about a childhood for her that didn't have pain, at such a young age.

A world where her father had been a better man.

In my mind, I erase the days he took her to his mistress when she was five, convincing her to lie, and I pretend, instead, he took her to the park and pushed her on the swings. The nights when he was out drinking and running in the streets, never happened because he was at home with her, helping to pick out her pajamas and her favorite stuffed animal, and reading her stories until she fell asleep in his arms, feeling safe and loved.

The times when he taught her love comes with a price, become erased and replaced with a loving father teaching her that his love is unconditional, that she is beautiful, and valued, and enough just by being who she is.

I replace his cold, harsh words with warmth, his womanizing ways with empowerment, his lies with truth.

The hidden bottles, the smell of liquor on his breath, the seething hatred and contempt,

vanish as quickly as his memory after a long night at the bar.

I fantasize he chooses to prioritize her, over everything else,

days when she would sit and wait to see his car arrive outside end with him arriving on time, sober and of sound-mind. Excuses and blame become lessons in accountability, responsibility, and growth.

He calls her and asks about her day,

He shows up at her games,

He takes care of her if she is sick,

He protects her from harm against all else.

I see what he could have been, what she deserved. If only I had one wish upon a star, I'd rewrite the story to fill in the broken pieces of her heart.

My mind is like the wreckage after a hurricane, a blood bath:

heart vs. brain;

So insane how words can be the only thing keeping me sane.

I push the past away,

don’t wanna' be a prisoner no' more,

not trying to let it through one more door.

I push and push and pray for the pain to fade, but who am I praying to? No one listens any way.

Time doesn’t exist.

I’m stuck in a different dimension, no one on this level of comprehension.

I need people like me,

it’s a lonely place to be.

No matter which way I go, I can’t win.

Hearts been torn again and again,

Through it all, there's only been one true friend.

Truth be told,

It’s writing that saves my soul.

Truth be told,

It's writing that saves my soul.

These words are a part of who I am,

I've got so much to say,

words that stay bottled up inside,

infecting my mind and the anxiety just won’t subside.

That's why I do what I do,

why I take the pen to paper and let it flow;

Truth be told

it's writing that saves my soul

Truth be told

it's writing that saves my soul

Truth be told

It’s writing that saved my soul.

I am the earth

I am the sound

I am the tree

The tree is me.

I am the wind

I am the stream

I am the bird

The bird is me.

You are the earth

You are the sound

You are the tree.

You are the wind

You are the stream

You are the bird

You are me.

We are you

We are me

We are energy.

It's hard to breathe here,

You’re suffocating in toxicity.

You try to blink back tears and can taste their salt,

wounds may heal but scars remember their own pain.

You want escape so you seek refuge in the safe corners of your brain.

You feel yourself slipping deeper but you fight back and at times,not only survive- you thrive.

But you know this will be short-lived,

For the shadows

always creep back in- stealing the light,

And you’re dragged back down into darkness like night,

Into those places where the pain runs deep,

Into memories like nightmares that won't allow you to sleep.