I've been thinking this a while and I can't disguise it anymore - I'm trying to keep it under control but it's not easy when I feel like this...

My name is Paul and I'm a wordaholic, a compulsive and obsessive addict and because of this I can't stop using Prose. :D

I love this place, I love the app, the people I've met and those who inspire me, I love the ethos here, the art, the challenges and the fact that we are all growing together.

So there I said it, I confess. But....

Is this normal...

Should I worry.... ?

(ps. help!)

So he trickled down my mind with a residue that stuck to the inside of my head.

Somehow that theme made it back into my head.

I don't know what to do instead.

Shut up.

Sit up.

Straighten yourself up girl.

This guy. This guy that stuck to the back of your mind.

He will disappear.

You're in a good place with good people.

Fuck that guy. ..

Old enough to know by now

Boys are gonna try and how

Spin a web to win your heart

Leave you as you fall apart

Don't be easy don't be hard

Know your place and hold your yard

Play the game and roll the dice

Love will find you once or twice

When it all is said and done

And your lover has long gone

Dry your eyes you silly girl

May your next love be for real.

the dark circles

that traced along freckled skin

hiding underneath my eyes

imitating lurking shadows

were never caused by lack of sleep

but hatred

I walked along a tightrope

every time you opened your lips

unwoven threads

dug into my skin

callouses piling up like blankets

I used my arms as barricades

because they were the only armor that I ever knew

because you never told me that I'm beautiful

because you never taught me

how to love myself

and even now

even after you've

used up all of your tears

to cultivate a garden

along my scars

a bundle of insecurity

is still etched into my eyes

every time I look at

myself in the mirror

a bundle of insecurity

is still carved onto my skin

a reminder of my demons

a bundle of insecurity

is still resting at the

pit of my stomach

ready to bloom

I think I'd like to

unhinge my jaw

to show you the way

I have gnawed

on the inside of my cheeks

until they bleed

and how I've ground my teeth

down smooth like a marble floor

you say my lips taste like

candy but I think you should know

every inch of my gums

is coated in rust

from every time

you

opened

your

eyes

You.

Are so beautiful.

And kind.

And how your eyes shine,

Making people drop like flies

Might just make it a crime

To have beauty this divine

You.

Are so beautiful.

one step forward

two steps back

one bright day

three in black

i fly so high

and then i crash

i grab a slab of gold

it turns to ash

i stare into heaven

but it's just a dream

there is no middle

i'm all extreme

i ride a high

then fall into a low

i try to heal

but forget all i know

i find a comforter

it unravels at the seams

i burn my blankets

i'm all extreme

i head left

then take a sharp right

i'm either weak

or i put up a fight

i start a fire

then kill the spark

i sink into the day

and rise in the dark

i'm all extreme

there's no middle ground

i can't get out of this cycle

i'm irrevocably bound