Boom

Here we go

Swinging in

Like Tarzan

Roaring loud

Like King Kong

See, hear

Now listen here

Young-blood

We've come

In search of

Alkebulan.

What?

You tellin' us

You're not sure

Where is this place?

You ask.

Now listen here, son.

Long live the Sahara sun!

One that's been around...

For many a-men,

'nd women, too.

Alkebulan:

Afrika.

A place of ancient history

One datin' back to B.C.

See, hear

Now listen here

Young-blood

Ya better not forget

The name: Alkebulan!

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=gwaYHsPwb7Y.

28.06.2023.

#ALKEBULAN. (c)

Hello, Writers and Dear Readers.

Hope your week has started off metal as possible, or classical as possible, or new wave as possible, or... Look, I couldn't think of a way to start off this post to introduce a 41-second poem on the channel. But we thought it would be cool to change it up once in awhile. Plus, I got this badass new webcam I wanted to test drive. Anyway, here's the link.

https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=yYvN5aQGHWw

And.

As always.

Thank you for being here.

-The Prose. team

Crackheads down South Street...

Runaway train...

Something in her faded leather

Boot is making pain...

She slows and fights dramatically

To readjust her frame...

Fixes the strap, and wobbles on...

Her addict friend slows down...

He's yelling that they must

Keep moving...

Aquire their Mark in town...

That easy John,

Some stupid prick

That drops his guard and cash...

Pants are hanging 'round his ankles

While Luella grabs and hikes...

Leaving him in dire straights

At least for two more nights,

Until he finally grasps

What's really put at risk...

The family farm?...

The sequin charm?...

The smile that was his pitch...

She rolls him for a sucker,

As her junkie pimp

Takes more

Then what she thought that

She was owed...

The scrappings on the floor

Are all the bald head chick

Has spent

For one quick pleasure trip...

Flying like a precious diamond

Over her flesh and clay...

That's her out there,

She threds the fix...

Her boot collects

Loose rocks...

Diamonds on the inside pinching...

Plucking on the skin...

Wind plays her guitar strings...

Discards her at a whim...

Crackheads down South Street...

Runaway train...

Something in her faded leather

Boot is making pain...

She slows and fights dramatically

To readjust her frame...

Fixes the strap, and wobbles on...

...Fixes the strap, and wobbles on...

Bunny Villaire

6/25/23

Edit #2

Lainey found it to be true, the fact that wild, feral eyes are drawn to the movements of other wild, feral things. Her own eyes were currently attracted to the prowling's of one such thing, her ears tuned toward it’s guttural reverberations, her senses recognizing something of herself in the way the souped-up roadster crept jerkily towards her, it’s muscle flexing against it’s brakes as though anxious to pounce, the familiarity of it tickling at a salacious memory deep within her.

The car stirred some untamed thing inside Lainey which slowed her steps, allowing the danger to creep ever closer in spite of her natural predilection to flee… even wild things have a breaking point… but then a resigned willingness to either consume or be consumed halted her steps altogether until she waited, allowing the distance between she and it to close. Lainey couldn’t forget. How did one unlearn the exhilaration of lust, or the intoxication of being it’s object. God knows she had tried, but she couldn’t forget the summer heat, the youthful intrigue, the secret hidden trysts. These were, of course, the delectable parts. They were the reasons for the excitement produced within her by the approaching car, and they revealed to Lainey her long suppressed yearnings for those things, despite all that had happened.

Like it or not, Lainey Frost was possessed of a wildness.

“C’mon, Lainey. It’s just a ride home.” Gideon’s eyes were a drug boring into her own, sedating her judgement. They were a drug she had tried before and whose cravings she didn’t want to like, that she was afraid to like. The fire and ice intensity of those eyes seared through her, beautiful as they were, so that Lainey instinctively knew she must pull herself away or suffer another terrible injury as consequence for her addiction.

”What is it with you Galloway boys and these cars?“ Lainey hoped to sound cavalier, but her voice failed her, dribbling the words out meekly, barely even audibly. Lainey understood perfectly well that this specific car was no accident. Gideon had always idolized Noah, just as Noah had idolized their father. Gideon had chosen this car on purpose, and had obviously worked hard to make it just like the one Noah used to drive, the one that had killed him and had nearly killed her. “Please, Gideon.” She tried to look him in the eye, the better to get her point across, but she only melted into that crystalline, Noah-like gaze of Gideon’s.

"Damn these Galloway boys," she thought. "And damn what they did to her!"

“Please Guideon,“ Lainey found her strength. Gideon was only a boy. He was the age now which she had been at two years ago, when she and Noah had…

“I can’t. Just leave me alone, Gideon. Please leave.”

The hurt in his eyes at her rejection nearly changed her mind. Hadn’t she already hurt the boy enough? But she didn’t call out for him to come back. She couldn’t, could she? And even if she had, could he have even heard her above the sudden mechanical storm she’d wrought?

The heavy growl of the small block V-8 as the ’57 Chevy idled away was every bit as frightening as the low rumble from an unseen bear or lion would be from out of the primeval darkness. Lainey knew it to be just as deadly in fact, as she had once danced in that darkness. Cast in her father’s era the car did not look antique, not with it’s custom hood scoop, flared fenders, and chromed out racing wheels, but the Chevy’s heavy heartbeat reverberated through her, rattling her bones, and her nerves, and even her sexuality. When safely away from her, whether from anger or disappointment Lainey could not know, Gideon floored it’s accelerator, loosing 455 cubic inches of mechanical muscle strong enough and loud enough to shake loose the very pillars of Heaven. As the it’s engine roared, and it’s squealing tires spewed a towering chimney of billowing white smoke into the ethereal blue Lainey shrunk down inside herself, the sights and sounds taking her back to that night when love had lived and died for her as quickly as a meteor‘s shower ends.

Like most sixteen year old girls Lainey had once had girlfriends. She had even been somewhat popular, back before Noah. But while those girlfriends had been drawn to the football quarterback, or to the baseball boys, even back then Lainey’s eyes had been drawn to the wild things, to the things the others couldn’t understand, and feared. From Lainey Frost’s very first glimpse of Noah Galloway she‘d known exactly what it was she wanted, and who. Lainey had been standing outside the high school when his souped-up Chevy crept past her, it’s “balls of steel” engine rebellious at being reined-in beside her, spitting and sputtering it’s disgust at her. He’d stopped on account of her, brashly ducking his head for a better look through the passenger-side window. Brown, wind-blown curls splayed from beneath a ratty ball cap. A tight, greasy t-shirt and faded blue jeans completed the “motor head” look. His arm reaching out for the steering wheel had been tanned and muscled, with delicate blue veins which longed to be traced coursing down it’s length. But it was his eyes that captured her, so icy-hot that she found her heartbeat matching the spitting and sputtering angst of the Chevy’s. He’d smiled a crooked smile at her through the window, Noah had, but the smile hadn’t been necessary. She was already aware of his desire, his eyes had made sure of that. She might have climbed in then and there if he’d asked, but he hadn’t, thank heavens. No, the car had rumbled away, leaving behind a million questions and no one for Lainey to ask them of, her heart despairing of ever seeing either car or driver again.

But she should have known better. Eighteen year old boys are hungry, and must eat. It seemed that everywhere Lainey went from that day forward Noah was somehow there, too; whether parties, dances, or ballgames. Things progressed quickly from phone calls, to holding hands, to kisses, and more. Long and lanky, he took her to his home, where she also fell in love with his Uncle Benjamin, and his little brother Gideon, a sparkling-eyed fourteen year old with the same curls spilling over his forehead that Noah sported.

It had been her idea, sneaking out. They drove until they found a dirt road, and a quiet place. She and Noah made love for the first and only time on a blanket laid over a dry, sandy wash beneath a bright, low-hanging moon. They had used whispers there for no real reason as the slow, black water serpentined past. It had been soft, earthy, and innocent. They had proceeded slowly, cautiously, tree frogs and crickets urging them on from the darkness. Noah had balked in the end, afraid of hurting her, content with touching and tickling her most sensitive parts with his calloused fingertips until her body literally ached with wanting him, so that she nearly screamed at him to do it, already! And when he finally did do it, it was even better than she’d imagined, and nicer, and sweeter; his lean body rocking gently atop her softness, and then faster, yet his rigor somehow still soft in her hands, and salty to her taste, as if the tawny muscles of it were melting for her comfort… except, of course, for that tiny bit of pain that warmed her to her core, reminding her that she was now a woman.

He’d kissed her then, gazing into the shadows of her eyes as an easily rolling thunder rumbled like waves towards them from the faraway distance. ”I love you, Lainey Frost.” The words had come to her on queue, right when she’d needed them most, making her so happy she could have burst.

If only she had whispered them back. But in that youthful moment time had seemed no obstacle.

On spindly legs they’d dressed, helping one another in the darkness, giggling guiltily in their clumsiness. Their get-away car had been that lone obscene thing which shattered the stillness of the night. Her insides a-smoldering Lainey had climbed aboard him as he drove, grinding on his lap and kissing his neck, her grooves wetting his mounds through their confounded cotton clothing.

The flashing lights had been a surprise, coming as they did from nowhere. “Oh God, Noah! No! Don’t let me get caught.” But angry parents would not have been so bad.

From her perch on his lap she’d watched the lights through the back window. They were clearly pulling away from the police car when the turns became too sharp. His arms left the wheel to embrace her protectively as the car slid from the road and into a ditch, where the Chevy’s great speed sent it, and them, reeling high into the air.

She’d lost her spleen, and broken her sternum, but Lainey was comparably lucky. Still in the hospital, the funeral had gone on without her. He was completely gone to her, devoid of closure, as though Noah had never been anything more than a sweet, recurring fantasy from her youth. But then Uncle Benjamin had come by, wondering what had happened, seeing if she was ok, but she honestly hadn’t known the answers to any of his questions. She either couldn’t, or wouldn’t remember. Over time, some of the memories returned, in spits and spurts, until she longed to go to Uncle Benjamin now that some of the answers were unveiled, but it seemed that the more time ticked by, the harder that became.

On Lainey’s 18th birthday she was still grieving. Two years of ever-so-slow healing. Her school friends were already marrying the quarterbacks, and the baseball boys, while her stitches, and bones, and memories scarred over. Those girls seemed happy-as-not when observed from afar, from where Lainey watched alone as she spiraled down in her whirlpool of guilt.

And then it had all begun again, as though a wish had been granted. The car had frightened her when she first began to see it on her few sojourns about town; sleek, black, growling panther-like through the streets, or leaping and screeching when kicked, barreling from sight. It’s novelty awakened something inside her; a longing, an urge to track it’s blacktop skid marks right up to it’s very lair, where she might actually pet the beast. It frightened her because she knew her drug now, and she knew her weakness for it. And as she’d known from the start that it would, on one of her sojourns about “it” finally rumbled up behind her, a crooked smile finding her through the passenger-side window.

”Hi Lainey.” He seemed genuinely happy to see her, Noah did, as if he had forgotten what she had done. Of course the boy wasn’t Noah, but it was exactly the same, her feelings exactly the same, only the day and the year being different. The blood inside her froze, paralyzing her in memories, and desires, and shames. Those same icy-blue eyes burned her, bilging long dried-up tears to her surface. Standing there, on the outside looking in, Lainey felt the warmth of other suns, and the warmth of another’s skin in the cool of night. God, how she so longed for him to be Noah.

But it wasn’t Noah, was it. “Gideon?”

He was forced to read his name off of her quivering lips, as her voice failed her, but despite it his smile grew. She had dreaded this moment, feeling unsure about how the younger Galloway boy would react to seeing her, the girl who had killed his older brother, but Gideon seemed genuinely happy to see her.

”Yea. How are you, Lainey? We’ve missed you, me and Uncle Benjamin.”

Not trusting her voice, she constrained herself to a nervous, half-smile by way of gratitude.

”Can I give you a ride somewhere? I’d love to talk.”

Lainey was suddenly sixteen again, standing in front of the high school. She would have climbed in, if he’d only asked. From inside looking out those crystaline eyes burned into her, just as they had before. She could see the desire in them, and she felt it in herself, and she wondered if he could see it in her as she could in him. The thought broke her down so that she had to get away from him, and fast.

”C’mon, Lainey. It’s just a ride home. Can’t you trust me?”

But he had it all wrong, didn’t he? She did trust him. It was her she didn’t trust. Damn these Galloway boys, anyways! “Please Gideon, just leave me alone.”

She was still standing there, staring at nothing, holding her feelings in, tamping them down. The smell of burning rubber was still heavy around her, the shame still hot on her cheeks when another rumble found her consciousness.

Gideon had circled the block and come back. She climbed in, as he’d known she would.

It felt the same, the speed did, the exhilaration, the freedom. It was nothing for those things to toss the heaviness inside her out the opened window. For a moment she was allowed to be a girl again, with a boy. She never imagined she could have that again, what with the warm winds whipping at her hair through, her shrieks weightless upon ticklish rises and under dipping valleys, his laughs at her screams, the bluish veins on his steering arm longing to be traced.

The sun was low when the Chevy finally rumbled them to her curb. “Can I see you again, Lainey? On Saturday, maybe?”

Her mother’s worried face looked out from the window. ”It’s not a good idea.” Gideon was just a kid, though he no longer looked like one, what with his bulging biceps and chiseled features. She would have to be the smart one in this room, if there was to be a smart one.

”Of course it is. Uncle Benjamin would love to see you. So would I.”

”No Gideon. I can’t.” She climbed from the car. “Thanks for the ride.”

She was half way up the driveway when he called out to her. “See you Saturday, Lainey. I’ll pick you up at noon.”

The driveway seemed dreadfully steep as Gideon drove away. Lainey’s feet felt dreadfully heavy walking it. The house waiting at the driveway’s end seemed dreadfully domesticated, her room inside it dreadfully lonely. Her parents seemed dreadfully apprehensive, her future dreadfully docile.

They should not have let her out alone. After two years cold-turkey Lainey had tasted her drug today. Gideon had rolled up her sleeve, and had administered her cure as any good doctor or dealer would, shooting it through her veins and removing the tourniquet, releasing a rush like Satan’s pet "bat out of hell" straight to her heart.

Could she go back now? Could she ever go back after this day’s relapse? She understood her parents, and could not condemn them for their comforts and amenities. But if “they” were right, her friends and her parents, if she succumbed to their cautions, what would their caged life offer her? Roasting beef and darning socks? Could she stand so little, she who thrived on passions? Wasn’t the dullness of them just as deadly to the wildness in her spirit as his injuries had been to her body?

And if she ran, and it were to go with Gideon as it had with Noah, could she survive the trauma again? Perhaps not, but did she care? Wasn’t one form of death the same as another? For two years she had tried it their way, and where was she now? Sad, broken, lost in yesterday and the rush he had given her. Was the spirit pumping through the beating heart not as crucial to it as the blood was? She’d had just a taste, but after today she knew that the spirit was as crucial, and she knew now what it was she needed.

Damn those Galloway boys, and what they did to her.

Yes... she knew exactly what she needed. At noon this Saturday, come hell or high water, Lainey Frost would be ready and waiting.

I'm on death row because the government wanted me there

Convicted without evidence

Guilty of conspiracy--a trick used when no evidence exists

I alone was convicted

Only one person conspiring? With who?

No, guilty of conspiracy by me and one-or-more-unnamed conspirators

Yes, that's a thing

Appeals judged in the light most favorable to the government

Of course! Fence-sitters beware

They'll get you if they want you

If you're charged, it's not

--Innocent till proven guilty, nor

--Guilty till proven innocent--it's just

--Guilty--so, forget the rest

I will die as collateral damage

Of someone's populist agenda

And will help my murderers

Get elected

And reap the love and admiration

Of those who label problems with a myopiscope

Allowing detritus like me to fall through invented cracks of connivance

'I won't forget you,' he says.

And with those few final words, I am gone from his life forever.

But, wait. Let us start again. For this, our story, begins elsewhere.

Benedict Goodnight stands under a key-stoned archway in the cloistered quad of Wallsford Comprehensive and tries not to stare at Sundae Loving. He knows it is not polite to stare. Not that Mistress Loving would notice. Young Master Goodnight does not exist in her world. No more than we exist in his.

But all of that is about to change!

'Are you drooling, Goodnight?'

'Sir?'

'You are. You're positively foaming at the mouth, boy! Are you ill?'

'I'm in love, sir.'

'Love, eh? I wouldn't know the first thing about it. But do carry on.'

That was Benedict's problem. He never had. Carried on, I mean. With anyone. And certainly not with Sundae Loving. His heart was pure, and his thoughts were chaste. She was his Earth and he was her moon. Constantly in orbit. Unable to move away, and equally unable to move any nearer. A satellite love.

'And Goodnight?'

'Sir?'

'Try not to drown in your own saliva.'

Uncommon beauty is commonly overlooked. And while Mistress Sundae could not be considered a classical beauty, her whole was greater than the sum of her parts.

And Master Benedict? He was kind and honest. And the space between his ears was not an empty one. He was neither attractive nor unattractive, but your plain, ordinary, average boy on the street.

This is where I come in. My name is Giacomo Girolamo Casanova. And I happen to know a little something about love.

You will know, already, that I am dead. It happens. People die all the time. But death is not, necessarily, how you might imagine it. A life is not a candle to be snuffed out so easily. Sometimes a small wisp of smoke still lingers.

There are those who can hear me. Those who can see me. And those, though few, who can do both. Ben is one of them. As to whose shadow first crossed whose threshold, I cannot recall. It will suffice to say that we did meet, and were soon good friends.

One night, when he lay in his bed, and I was sitting in a chair by his window, Ben said, 'How do you get a girl to notice you?'

'Clothes,' I said. 'You must dress to impress!'

'Not helpful... Everyone at school wears the same uniform.'

'It is not what you wear,' I told him, 'but how you wear it. A tie is not a noose around your neck. A blazer is not a sack for harvesting vegetables.'

'Ok. What else?'

'Never tuck your shirt inside your underpants. Who taught you to do that?'

'I don't know. It's just something we do.'

'Who is we?' I asked.

'Guys, I guess. Boys?'

'A-ha! Yes! Little boys. Girls do not look at little boys. They cuddle them. They baby them. They bounce them them on their knees. Is that what you want? To be bounced?'

'Well... No.'

'Then you must be a man, and not a little boy. A young man, perhaps. But a man!'

'How do I do that?'

'First, you must think of yourself as a man. To think like a man, you must look like a man. Your hair. Your clothes. We will change everything! Trust me, my friend. You will not believe the difference!'

We began the very next morning. I laid out Ben's uniform while he showered. His body was nothing more, and nothing less, than I expected. Normal. There was nothing un-expected. The usual bits were in the usual places.

'Stand up straight,' I said. 'Do not slouch! Shoulders back! Chest out! Chin up! Now, repeat after me. I am a man!'

'I am a man.'

'You do not sound so sure. Say it. I am a man!'

'I am a man!'

'Better. A penis is not something to be ashamed of. Say it!'

'A penis - '

'No. No. I am a man!'

'I am a man!'

'Good! Get dressed. There is still much to do!'

When Ben was dressed to my satisfaction, I asked him if he was a sheep.

'What? No!'

'So why,' I said, 'do you comb your hair over your eyes? Who are you hiding from? Use your fingers to brush it back from your face. Show the world you are not afraid!'

'You're wearing a wig,' he said.

'It was the fashion when I was alive,' I replied. 'It is not the fashion now.'

'But you still wear it.'

'It suits me to do so. And we are not concerned with my appearance. So, my young friend, what are you?'

'A man?'

'Yes, you are! And do not forget it!'

At Ben's school, I pointed out Mistress Sundae.

'You will walk past her,' I told him. 'You will catch her eye. You will smile. But you will not speak.'

He shook his head. 'I can't.'

'Why not?'

'Her friends are there.'

'So? Are they gorgons to turn a man to stone? Go!'

And to his credit, he went.

He did the same thing the next day. And the next. Every day for a week. And what do you think happened on the Friday afternoon? As Ben was walking out through the school gates? She followed in the dance, of course!

Here is what I heard.

Her. 'Hi.'

Him. 'Hi.'

Her. 'You're Ben, right?'

Him. 'Yeah.'

Her. 'Cool.'

'Do not slow down,' I said. 'Keep walking.'

Mistress Sundae has to skip to keep up.

Her. 'You look different.'

Him. 'Do I?'

Her. 'That's my bus. I have to go.'

Him. 'Ok.'

Her. 'Will I see you Monday?'

Him. 'Sure... Maybe.'

'You were perfect,' I said.

Ben was not convinced. 'I dunno.'

'Wait,' I said. 'You will see.'

Monday morning came. Sundae was waiting at the school gates.

'Hi, Ben!'

'Hi.'

'You're here.'

'Yep.'

'I thought... When you said maybe... But here you are!'

'Here I am.'

'Cool. There's my friend Amy. Come and say hi.'

I never said the conversation was riveting.

On Tuesday they ate lunch together.

On Wednesday they held hands.

On Thursday they kissed.

On Friday they kissed again.

I did not stay to watch. I am not a voyeur.

On Saturday they met in a nearby park.

On Sunday -

Ah... Every day should be a Sundae!

I stepped into the shade

To speak to the sun

He asked, where is my shadow

I said I had none

Reaching forward behind myself

There was a pile of sleeves

Draped over my shoulders

Were buttons sprouting leaves

Things had become not what they seem

Realizations that it’s all

incongruous

This all proved one thing

The fabric of reality was

diaphanous

Stepping back into the sun

I laughed with my shadow

We climbed back inside

And closed my mind’s window

Hello, Writers and Dear Readers.

On the channel today, we feature a tie for first in last week's challenge, and announce Challenge of the Week CCXXIX, which is linked just below this small paragraph, which will technically consist of four lines, because four lines just adds up on this hot and bright summer Thursday. Hope you sexy-minded beasts are keeping cool.

Number 229: https://theprose.com/challenge/14099

Channel link: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=6baahLzdXPY

And.

As always.

-Thank you for being here.

The Prose. team

Motor demon slashing by...

Why do you make the babies cry?...

Without care for when or why...

Pissing out your gas and sloppy semen...

See you sometimes in the threads of daylight...

Unshaven bygone pirate of a dead and buried age...

I do admire your fire and meat cleaver mentality

On the prowl for freedom from the normal hype...

Is anyone who walks or drives a modern rig

Just fodder for your will to burn it to the ground?...

All of the breathing, and alive in this time

Are we dead flowers in an insect infested urn?...

Motor demon slashing by...

Why do you make the babies cry?...

Without care for when or why...

Pissing out your gas and sloppy semen...

Every persuasion has it's flaws...

From 'The American Dream'...

To the latest flash mob...

From Hitler's Germany

To the Hell's Angel's;

We're all breathing down each

other's backs in different shifts

Like we know the world's secrets,

When no one knows a damn thing

Except how to boorishly shove

Their individualism down the next hopeless

Bystanders throat until they choke...

Motor demon slashing by...

Why do you make the babies cry?...

Without care for when or why...

Pissing out your gas and sloppy semen...

Why can't we meet both ways

And fight this fight together?...

I like your fury for the modern age,

And long for the winds of change to pelt my skin

As I go riding down at a hundred miles an hour either

Beside you or behind your Horse of the Apocalypse...

Why do you seem so eternally lonely,

Like your sunset's in the can

And the next get off will be a crash

That we both can't walk away from?...

...Where the future and the past

Become an amalgam for the present...

I'm already wincing from your absence

As you desperately remind us

Of your existence in the pocket...

Praying you'll make it through the mill...

Bunny Villaire

6/21/23

Truly a tale of extremes, my friend. It breaks my heart to be reminded of that self-afflicted torment. Allow me to suggest an alternative: Momus, not Prometheus, is probably a more likely fit. For the mistake of finding Aphrodite the only one worthy and capable, thus deserving, of his (or anyone's) admiration, he torments himself and any around him for their falling short of acceptability. Love, in life, can seem a lottery of hearts, and we hear tales of those who profess to have won. They present themselves to mock our loneliness. Just remember that lottery winners pay heavy taxes--it's not as it appears on the surface. The tales of pure love are often tall, and just as children dream of astronauts and princesses, our mature dreams of passion and love can make our goal of a kindred spirit unrealistically lofty as well.

When we were young, our fathers put pressure on us to be our best, and the more intense the pressure, and the higher the expectations, the more likely we were to fall short. Why should a lover's engagement be any different? We are all but humans, not gods. To expect a commitment, especially to one who loves so deeply as you, to knowing every thread of your soul, to not only bringing forth her own very best, but to inspiring and motivating your very best as well--that's an expectation to rival our fathers' proudest dreams--as if we could ever achieve them.

And streets are lined with tents and sleeping bags--littered with the punished souls who were not granted their winning lottery tickets. I wonder if they look at people passing by--struggling day-to-day, working tirelessly, doing whatever it takes to feed their children, pay their mortgages, and stretch with all their might to reach just one more rung--and think, "Those lucky bastards!" And all the people passing by could pick out this soul or that, give them their days and their nights and their worries; but in reality, they will more likely pick out any one of those souls, and though they may search desperately for some speck of hope, end up thinking, "Why would I give a man such as this anything more than a few bucks for lunch?"

Those who wander the alleys and defecate in the streets so often ramble to themselves, flailing their arms and cursing every last thing, including the wind, are really quite similar to the politicians and lawyers with their arguments and speeches... "Listen, all who are near! Hear me and know this! For anything short of total agreement with all I say or believe, is..." what did you call it? "Mouths full of platitudes, meaningless blabbering with no basis in reality." To be perfectly honest, that was my favorite part--I've always had a soft spot for fatalism.

In truth, I was once you. I think a lot of people have been (if I may risk using myself as the norm). I'd wished for too long to believe that wishes come true. I considered for hours what I, too, called fate. And I threw it all on the winds and accepted it as my own. Then the very next day, The Boss came into my life, on what seemed like chance. It wasn't perfect or easy or completing or any other extremes but one-- it was hard work-- not hard in that I had to complete grandiose tasks or make life-changing sacrifices; it was hard in that I had to tell myself "yes" when so many times I thought "no." I convinced myself "stay" when my pride told me "go." I realized that this woman was not going to magically bring out my best, but that her love was going to require it--it was my choice, and my responsibility, to bring my best out of myself.

You see, my friend, it wasn't fate or karma which stood in my way--it was my own image of a love I didn't realize I had to earn to achieve--my unearned Aphrodite. In fact, truly, looking back, I've never met a man, woman, or child who I could not love--I only failed to allow it. I expected perfection and weighed each lover on that scale--not that they never had a chance--I just never gave them one. Those who win lotteries so often end up broke again, because their investment was only a dollar or two; but those who invest every ounce of their being into building a fortune others yearn to possess--a treasure they know through and through, which required their best and provided a fortune in return--they are the ones who will never, ever curse the wind.