Love is love.

Though we call each other rude names

or sometimes fight

or yell at each other over the telephone

know that, no matter what, I will always love you.

Forever.

That’s the meaning of love to me.

Love is a malady of emotions.

One minute the yearning is gone,

Only to return with a vengeance.

Love is a dull ache that won't go away,

Ever constant, a nagging reminder of then,

What we shared, what we did.

The lengthy phone conversations,

The discreet visits, the long hugs,

The languid kisses, the trembling caresses.

I truly, truly miss you, my love.

(I wrote this on 10/02/2014, to my then-girlfriend)

Love is a poison

that runs in your veins

and makes you

an addict

to an illusion.

midnightinke 7-25-2020

how the waves kiss the seashore despite being sent away each time (unwavering.)

how my mind keeps wandering back to you all the time (ridiculous.)

the number of times I would give my life for you (selflessness.)

the distance I would run to get to you (determined.)

the height I would climb just to get you (persevering.)

the number of times I woke up crying because I dreamt of you (painful).

~Ernaline, 10 August 2020

~

t

w

o

sugars & milk,

steaming hot: latte art.

black & bitter, made silk;

love awakens cold hearts.

stormy clouds, silver shade,

goosebumps, kissing cool rain;

spooning s y r u p, ice-shaved,

rainbow sprinkled, numbs pain.

thickets, thorns, berry vines,

biscuit blankets, dulce —

sour/tart, turned divine,

even lemons,

sorbet.

midnight

loneliness,

moon

clean and bright

a single starched sock

or d’ubervilles tess

uncertain, a mess,

or brilliant white

bride’s fitted

dress,

a rose buttonier

on a tuxedo, grey

a door slamming in fear,

furious,

kissing in snow,

flakes spinning like

ballerinas

no in between

marriage of extremes

burn you like

a blaze

leave you lost like a maze

freeze you, silent ice

so cold it feels hot

wild or captive,

flying, gliding, soaring,

or lying face down in the dirt,

hurt

rejected

or accepted like a

golden christmas present

angry, passive,

gentle, persuasive,

tender, brutal

but never ever indifferent

Love.

I

will

tell you-it’s

the way your uncle

walks faster when his husband

is home alone. how your mother sleeps

with the lights on when your dad is getting a

flight in early the next day. how your brother runs fast

when you fall over

how your friends

say: “If only you

could see you the

way we do, it’d do

amazing things for

your ego.” and the

way ’oceans never

stop kissing shores

no matter how many

times they’re sent away.’

What is love?

It’s

butterflies in the tummy

heart pounding, hands trembling

I want to spend my life

looking into your eyes;

It’s

holding hands without

chaining a soul –

glorying in being together

being one

while respecting that we are two;

It’s

wanting someone else’s happiness

as much as – or more – than your own;

It’s

a difficult balance

of compromise

understanding

agreeing and

agreeing to disagree;

It’s

giving up the last piece of your favorite pie

because it is also your loved one’s favorite;

It’s

showing up

even when you would rather stay in bed;

It’s

cooking dinner, doing laundry, mowing the grass

taking out the garbage, cleaning the toilet

washing dishes, food shopping;

It’s

working hard

working through

working together

because

your love

is worth

the effort;

As time passes

the years fly by

the life you share

is a living testament

to the fleeting

goosebumps

and sweaty hands

that fade with time -

buried

under the daily grind

the stresses imposed

by existence -

but which find a way to surface

now and again

if only you look

and remember

what is love.

Love is the gut wrenching pain of knowing that I cannot ever hold you in my embrace again. It's the knowledge that you're gone but I'm still here, heart in searing pain. It's knowing that I cannot move on because there's no one as good as you to be found on this earth. Love has become the simple fact of loving a past memory of us.