I once had a conversation with someone in which I explained that most people find me boring. He corrected me by saying that it's not that I'm boring, it's just that my interests lie outside of what most people are interested in. If I met someone who shared my interests, they would not find me boring. So it's a matter of perspective.

There is something that excites you, it just may be something that doesn't excite the people around you. If you take a little time to think about it you should be able to figure it out. It's that thing that causes you to become excited when you think about it. So go think about it for awhile and while you are doing that I'll just be sitting here being boring.

I have tried many things in life.

Many things I failed.

Some things I was too scared to fail, so I didn't try them.

Other things demanded I try them so I did.

A few things I could have tried, but left alone (for now).

Rarely a thing completely left me awestruck.

Occasionally I might regret a thing.

More often than not I regretted not trying the thing.

Now I say try all the things.

Because if there is no do?

Then there is only try - until you find the thing you want to do.

* - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - * - *- * - *- * - * - *

(sorry, Master Yoda)

Lacking passion can be quite normal, and it can't be forced either. Clearly trying things other people do just isn't for you and that is okay, its what they find passion in. Passion can be as simple as taking a walk up the street and feeling the wind and sun, or as difficult as speaking up for what you believe is right. And it can be anything in between. Even if you haven't found your passion yet, doesn't mean you won't, it just means you have to go a bit farther.

I applaud your interest in investigating to find the right fit.

I don’t know if you’re in the US. If so, Citizens’ Climate Lobby is organized into 587 chapters in US congressional districts. You might read info about man-made climate change. Many libraries have online books you can access in addition to actual hard copies. Learning or reading more about this may make you passionate enough to seek to inspire your elected representatives and perhaps also your community via local media. Contact info for your reps is provided, depending on where you live, so it’s easy to phone or email them. You may take ownership of an issue some consider an existential crisis.

In another way to be involved from home, Amnesty International likewise has an Urgent Action Network in the US whereby you may contact authorities via email or phone when someone’s in imminent danger of human rights violations. These could include detainees and/or prisoners. Judging by its name, it’s not active just in the US.

You can participate in these or any cause(s) that you feel you can get behind with intense sentiment. Perhaps you’d prefer helping homeless or itinerant persons. If you’ve never “worked” at soup kitchens or food pantries, those might be tasks you’d deem worthy of your time and effort. Victims of domestic abuse and/or orphans can use a hand, too. Animals that have been abandoned provide yet another opportunity. Volunteering is not easy. So I think you are on the right track by discerning an area you feel will be important enough to you to help make a difference.

Yes, passion is hard to find. But passion desires to have a personal relationship with you. Without Passion, you will feel empty having a lack of interest in life. Passion is waiting for you.

Passion: He loves you even more than his own life. He is waiting at the door of your heart. If you hear him knocking, open the door. Passion is waiting to embrace you. To live in you giving you a passion that will set you free from this lack of interest in life.

Passion: He is the light of this world; He is the prince of peace. Passion has known you before you were born. He delights in your soul and wellbeing.

Passion gives divine counsel, guides you less you stub your toe on the table in the night.

Passion is the healer of the mind, body, and soul. Passion is the King of kings, the Lord of lords.

Passion is the wellspring of life; He is your anchor in the storms of life. He is the vine of life, the water which quenches our thirst of this world, and the bread of life which leads us to the next.

Passion is the beginning and end of every story. He has written your story before the foundation of the world.

Passion is the chief cornerstone and the image of the invisible God.

Passion has visited humanity as a baby, then a man. Fully God, fully man, to set the record straight. He is Passion!

His passion has given me life everlasting! He has life everlasting for you, too.

Passion is our redeemer, our savior he is alive and wants to live in you.

Passion has overcome death. Oh, death where is your stink.

Passion in life in this world and the world to come, without passion one is doomed to live without Him forever!

Open the door of your heart and passion will live with you, guide you. Life goes from black and white to full color.

Thats the thing...you do what makes others happy. That is why your passion does not last, or maybe it never trully existed. Passion comes from doing something 'YOU’ love doing, and it does not feel like work, but rather like a hobby. Its normal to lack interest when it comes to others choices of interest, after all we all were made unique, with unique aspirations and pasions. You just to dig a little deeper at finding, what it is you enjoy and try it out, try out a bunch of things and stick to one that makes you want to do it everyday as best you can.

Somedays I wake up and rot like an overripe fruit in my bed.

I stare at the bumps caked on the ceiling like acne that's been caked over with foundation.

I feel the blankets rubbing against my bare legs like wind against a cactus.

Sometimes passion is dormant and winter is long. The seasons don't feel like seasons anymore, but just a perpetual state of grey, dull emptiness. Of longing to just get up and do something meaningful.

I have to close my eyes and even when I don't want to and reluctance has built a strong bastion to shield my Desire and Motivation--I pray.

I pray and I thank God for waking me up in the morning.

Even if I am a nobody. Even if when I climb down the ladder to my bunk bed I feel like I am a landfill of wasted time. It would be easy to tell me as long as I am trying there is worth in me. But I've stopped trying.

Pathetic.

Loser.

Quitter.

JUST FUCKING DO SOMETHING.

Blank eyes. Taut throat. Silent tears.

I can't even pray out loud sometimes because I hate the sound of my voice. So I whisper it softly in my head because even my thoughts are saturated with disgust.

Dear God, Thank you for this beautiful day.

It's raining. I like the rain.

Thank you for my comfortable bed and my windows that overlook my grandma's garden. I like looking at the flowers.

You know, flowers don't have to do anything. All they do is sit on the ground and wait for the sun to rise and the rain to pour and somehow they're still beautiful. I guess I'm not a flower that blooms all year round. Maybe for a week, a season if I'm lucky.

Thank you for the rain, it calms my mind. Thank you for all my friends, who love me, but don't know how to help me.

I watch the soft puffs of my incense machine spill out a lavender scent that sticks to the walls of my room and all my sweatshirts. I can hear my brother's T.V. from his room down the hall.

Thank you for protecting me. Bless all my friends, they deserve it. I hope Trevor does well on his finals and that Maddi will get into the college she wants.

I go on and on.

Is this all I can do? I wish I could stand up. I wish I could just get up and do something.

Thank you...please help...

I don't pray for myself. I usually forget to. But I care more about my friends than myself. They deserve prayer more than me.

They all have futures. I haven't gotten up in two days. I've stared at my computer screen and gotten up to eat food. My cello sits under the cork board in my room. Yeah, I used to be top in my class. They called me gifted.

Ha. Haha.

Sometimes child-like passion fades. Sometimes life hits you so hard that you're not ripe and promising. You're bruised and tender, broken, hurt, feel a little too much, care a little less, and become a little bit more selfish.

FUCK.

I don't want to be this way.

I could sketch something. I would stare at the page forever.

I could pick up my cello. I'm sure my fingers don't play like they used to.

Sorry God, sometimes I get distracted when I pray. I pray against anything that would try and break me and my friends apart. I pray that you give them long life and favor.

I could dance. I just can't.

They told me I had potential.

Potential.

potentialpotentialpotential.

I hate that word.

How do they know what I'll be? They don't.

Sometimes adults make promises for you that you can't keep.