Failure
White wine
scallops
the ocean breaks the shore
fucked up thoughts
pervasive through
the centuries
drunk and sober
the failure of love
the failure of time
the confused and hungry
years
failure is the heart's
excuse to accept
mediocracy
do your best work
piss gasoline
on the flames of fear
failure is
for the rest of them
not you
not me.
hammered and on fire
in Santa Monica.
birds
hovering
prey
beyond
the big sheets of glass
while the wine sits
chilled
and
the world fails
with
poetry.
drowning
insecurity
festering beneath
blemished skin
comparable to
salt water
overflowing
my nostrils
and eyelids
attempting
to swim
in this bottomless
chasm
labeled
"disappointment"
a word
I've never grown
accustomed to
even though
she tore
my eardrums
apart
with her
repetitive usage
a word
I've never grown
accustomed to
even though
he spat it down
my throat
as his fingertips
scorched my cheeks
a word
I've never grown
accustomed to
even though
I've carved it
into my bones
carrying it
everywhere
I go
a simple
reminder
I've ceased my
futile attempts
at breathing
the ocean
begins gushing into
my scars
failure weighing
my body down
to the sea floor
ready to drown
Perspective
Failure is just Opportunity wearing her shabbiest clothes. This life is fraught with rejections and disappointments, injuries and defeats. When failure comes to you, wrap her in your arms clothing her in your sweetest material. Lift her from the floor and set her back on her feet. You have things to do together yet.
What Does It Mean To Me?
Failure is every time I try and wear something nice to school, in hopes someone might just talk to me, and then it coming to the end of the day and no ones even batted and eye.
Failure is every time I plan to tell my mother I want to transition, but my nerves get the best of me, and so I don't.
Failure is every fucking time I try to get help for my suicidal thoughts, but I decide that my problems are too petty and not worthy enough for thinking that.
My view on failure.
Failure isn't falling down, it's staying down. -James Patterson
This quote is absolutely how I feel about failure. When someone fails at something and doesn't do anything to change the situation. Everyday many people fail at small things and at gigantic things but how they deal with the aftermath is what counts.
Someone close to me had relapsed for a year after being sober for 7 years. He called me and felt so down and said he felt like such a failure. I told him that failure isn't falling down, its staying down. If he wanted to continue out using and feeling like a failure then by all means keep using, but if he wanted to change the situation and become stronger than he was before to go to rehab. He admitted himself into rehab yesterday and I am more proud of him now than I ever have been before.
Him relapsing isn't failure, in my eyes, it's growth.
Failure
In failure we stiffen. Our brave face tenses as we prepare for the consequence of inadequacy. We lie to ourselves and say we'll make use of the lesson. But the lesson is merely "You weren't good enough." Failure is the death of hope for a reason.
Failure is the realization of weakness. Failure is the stronghold of religion, as inadequacy pushes so many to grovel for forgiveness. Failure is unforgiveable, but so common that we all forgive it.
We can watch you fail and recognize the humiliating defeat of ourselves by proxy. But reality makes you fail, because it convinces you to try.
It's a built in scam really, to keep you beneath your potential. The result is your ultimate potential isn't simply to fail, but the odds are pretty good that your best ideas will be discouraged by those who believe you will fail.
They are protecting themselves from feeling sorry for you later, when you invariably fail.
But it means nothing to me. I am used to the feeling of dissappointment, and perhaps that is the best way.
Low risk gambling when you don't have to wager much against the house. Every now and then the risk pays off, but usually it fails.
At least the tiger has no teeth when we know.
Failure.
Failure. The one word that scares me. Failure makes me feel worthless, powerless, utterly useless. But I try to brace myself before it strikes. If I have even the slightest doubt in my mind, that failure is in store, I gear up to face the music. If it hits me out of nowhere, and if I'm not prepared, it's harder to find the pieces when you can't anticipate where to look for them. Because failure is an assurance that I will break. Permanently or temporarily depends on it's intensity of course, but being shattered hurts nonetheless. Once the storm passes, I try to glue myself back together, this time trying to build a stronger foundation. So that if and when failure strikes next time, it will be much harder to take me down. Failure teaches me how to build my walls of success. And once I've learnt the best possible way to do so, once I've built the strongest wall, failure gives up, as it just can't take down success. So failure, although painful, helps me become as successful as I can. No pain, no gain, right?