In Light of Love’s Sufferings
Love spilled on a craggy hill
The sun withheld its light
Earth was split; the veil was rent
When taking on our plight
Calvary, in silence
Of words, as they were
penned
Three hours filled with
darkness
Blood shed for all who’ve sinned
I wonder of the hours
lapsed
Hanging on the cross
Until the time he breathed
his last
Paying all sin’s cost
Imagining the fracture
Yes, time; BC-AD
And separation from his
Father
“why.....forsaken me?”
I ponder of the sans
The eve’ that fell on day
Darkness covered all the
land
The light was snuffed to
pay;
Crushed for my iniquities
Pierced for my
transgressions
God in flesh; all
sovereignty
Accomplishing his mission
Eclipsing all that’s evil
His light shone brightest
then
Sacrificed; my peril
To save me from my sin
Humble, as is testified
Words are without writing
His “hour” of prayer - was
crucified
Silence seems quite fitting
Love speaks in word’s
absence
Two thousand years and
counting
His Name still yields
forgiveness
And wounded hearts their
healing
“No eye has seen, nor ear
has heard”
Dark and quiet void
Shepherd; perfect lamb;
his herd
Slain, so I’d enjoy
Entering into the light
From shadows, shame and
guilt
Making all my wrongs now
“right”
Mending veil and quilt
Restoring me; his
fatherhood
Forsaken by the curse
He, the only perfect could
Rewrite my song and verse
Shedding Light
I’m not going
to write
anymore...
about the light in the eyes
or the way spittle dribbles
at the corners and shines
across some sultry smile
... though I mention these
in passing, it’s the Night
that stars in my daytime
horrors...
With the dark, I know I’ll spear
the Sleep, which I’m sure to beat
...having wrestled all of my
thoughts and sent them to bed
like the deflated monster babies
they are...
mottling from black-n-white Its
...into I’s that ignite...
and push aside the eclipse that
obscures the heart
I Am the 28th Day of June
My first memory is pain. Nothing major, just shampoo stinging my eyes as my mother washes my hair in a small, cramped shower where I wail in agony. Piecing things together, I learned I was between two and three years old at the time. I still can't open my eyes underwater.
I've tried recalling anything beyond that first memory, but nothing swims to the surface. When I tried my hardest to think backwards as a child, the best I could grasp was a sense of darkness and a loud "clap" like a jet buzzing a tower. Just imagining the sound would startle my young meditating mind awake, until I had to go play or otherwise occupy myself to shake the sense of "NO - GO BACK".
Growing up, I associated that darkness with death, which I thought would take me back to the void I so feared. Yet in all accounts I've read, death was never described as a darkness but as a light - the calm return to an existence free of the pain that first linked me to this world.
After years of consideration, I determined the darkness I feared wasn't the natural cycle of death, but the unnatural reversion to a state before life. Gears don't like turning backwards - they often grind, whine, or break when forced in the wrong direction. Trying to push back the veil and undo existence leaves a similar impression on the soul, I would guess.
If you imagined each day of the calendar as a single existence, then say I'm currently the 28th day of June. My day can't be restarted, nor can I go back to the 27th of June - that person has already lived their day. And although I can't recall every single minute of my life here on Earth, the collective impact of my days has made me who I am. Maybe the universe won't recall all the specific events of my life after I'm gone either. But I believe my experiences will fill that void, shaping it into more than it was before.
However bleak they may get, my days can never be dark - because they are what fills the darkness. The 28th day of June cannot be stopped, it can only run its course.
Good luck, June 29th.
<------------------------->
Old habits die hard
There are days when I am stuck in my bed
pondering my days
and where my life has been led.
There are days when I feel alone
even with people
I'm all on my own.
There are days when I don't want to live
I can't receive
but there's nothing left for me to give.
There are days
when all I can feel in my soul
is darkness.
Old habits die hard.
But.
On those days
where i am stuck in my head.
I'll get a text
"I love you"
"I'm thinking about you"
"I miss you"
and a smile will creep upon my face
whether the darkness
wants it to
or not.
And my day immediately gets brighter
The Hustle and Not So Bustle
Closing my eyes, it’s the sensation of the train rattling as it lurches along the tracks. The gentle rocking lulling me to sleep while the soft chatter of others act as white noise. It’s the feeling of being tickled as the grass fields embrace me. Perhaps even the terrifying moment when an insect or arachnid crawls up my arm but is soon followed by laughter. It’s the feeling of comfortably sinking into a large chair placed by a window as the suns rays gently cover my face, warming me to my very core. And once I adjust to the warm temperature, I become drowsy with serenity, appreciating the rare peace in our ever moving world.
It’s listening to the dog barking downstairs, telling me his is alive and well. It may also be the grin I shoot my friends as we pass each other in the chaotic corridor between classes. After school, it’s the rhythmic flipping of pages as the paper slides between my finger tips, threatening to tear if not treated gently. Curled up on top of my self designated bean bag, I clutch the book in my hands, oblivious to reality. But every so often, the sound of muffled footsteps will cut through the fog and I’ll look up smiling, knowing there are others who enjoy ”traveling” just as much as I do.
But most importantly I believe I give myself the most happiness and have the ability to turn my day from an everlasting night to a sunny day with clear skies. There may be clouds or rainfall in the distance but at this moment in time, there is only now and Now is what makes me happy.
His Face
As soon as he walks through the door, bam...my day is instantly better.
He is my rock, my sanity, my love.
I do everything, I do nothing for him.
I see his face, I feel peace, I feel love.
No one can or will love me as much as he does.
He lifts my spirits, he gives me hope.
So handsome, so intelligent, so innocent, so young.
He turns my night into day, my darkness into light.
There is nothing like my love for my son to make every day right.