Creeeek! Creeeek! Woof woofwoof! The hair on the back of my neck stands on end had it really been 10 years? I sit on the couch as the hounds outside my door try to claw there way in. I reflect on my life the empire I made in business all for nothing. Ten years ago I was a failing businessman who's wife was expecting and couldn't provide for my family...lets face it I was a loser. So when a man came to me and said hed help me get my business back on track and I'd bbe able to provide for my family I figured what did I have to lose. I asked him the catch of course he said it wasn't anything to worry about it's be 10 years before he would come to collect and by then I would be so rich money wouldn't be an issue or the deal would be nullified. I figured it was a good deal till now. Wife died in a car crash a week later and so did the baby..my baby boy. Afterwords I poured my heart in soul into the business and I made bank. Now with he'll hounds before me with those red eyes that make men cry in fear he finally appears. The devil himself the same man I saw all those years ago. He wants his percentage it's not much only 100% of my soul he laughs. I find his humor disgusting myself. The chains of Hell bind my wrists and I'm dragged away. I wonder what my company will think but it's not uncommon for people to go missing when they're rich I suppose. The things I see as I'm given the "brand" tour is too horrifying for words. I see every toucher device ever made and some that haven't been invented yet. Some people burn, some are stretched or have their nails and teeth ripped out. From what I've seen so far they have it easy. Some are brought to the brink of insanity but never allowed to cross into the void....and the last thing I think of before the gate shuts is of my wife and son. Taken from me by the man in front of me and then the gate shuts and my eternal screams begin.

There are lots of people in my life who directly inspire me. My Grandma inspired me to college, my great aunt inspired me to go to college, a really good friend and mentor inspired me to not let certain people in my life affect my future. All these people and tons more have been a great inspiration in my life. We all have mentors, family, and friends that directly inspire us everyday, whether on purpose or accident, with an action and words, it happens all the time. What about those people who indirectly inspire us though? Those people that you don't really know, your role model celebrity, a motivational speaker, an author, or maybe an athlete. They are people who don't personally know us, but some have the goal of motivating and inspiring their fans. These are the people we forget about, the ones that don't directly inspire us. Of course they wouldn't know that we have acknowledged them. They don't know us, they don't follow us on Facebook, Twitter, or Instagram. But most of them have a goal and that is to be an inspiration and role model.

So after that long "rant", I'm not going to say who inspires me out of the people I know personally, I'm going to give credit to one person who has inspired me to stick through the tough times even when things weren't going great for me. She did this just through making music to share  with her fans. Her own personal experiences helped me get through some of my own and her fight for herself encouraged me to "Stay Strong" even when I though that I couldn't. Demi Lovato has help me see that I should be confident with myself, no matter how I look and what kind of personality I have. I am no longer afraid of who I am or who I could become if I tried just a little harder.

This is a memory

I don't like to visit often

I was only 14

When I lost my innocence

But the story doesn't start there

It doesn't start that day

Or even with that boy

It starts when I was real little

Not knowing much about the world

Not yet knowing it's cruelty

Or it's people

The perves and creepes

The disgusting hands

That liked to touch me

I didn't know it was wrong

I didn't know to say "Stop"

I didn't like it

But I thought it was normal

Doesn't that thought make you sick?

All those boys who touched me

Telling me it was okay

I can't believe I couldn't see

All I could do was pray

I was abused

Physically, sexually, mentally, emotionally

No wonder I'm so used to getting used

Then I met this boy

He was nothing special

I swear

He just wanted what they all do

And he knew I was vulnerable

So one night

At 3 a.m

We did it

Unprotected

I was scared I might be pregnant

And when he heard this

He left me

My parents were pissed

But I  was alone

Cuz I got myself into this

The tests all came back

Negative

Which is good

Because I couldn't live

With his kid

Two months later

I met a boy

We fell in love

I was just a used toy

But he didn't care

Until he left me

Now I'm alone

Again

But who needs a heart or home

When you have a pen

I have been up for a while,

thinking and thinking.

Sleep didn't come quick enough,

so I decided to write.

I have reached my goal now, and

sleep has finally come.

Time to retire.

What will it be like?

Will I be different?

What will it feel like?

All these questions in my head

and I don't have an answer for

any of them...

I have enough of it already

and it is so early in the morning.

That's what naps do to you.

Especially if you take them early in the day.

You end up waking up early in the morning.

Now I can't go back to sleep.

No matter where I go,

there's always that one person

that thinks he or she is better

than me. It's not true, but

they don't know that. It's

okay though, because one

day they will see.