It’s all so surreal today –

it just makes me want to scream!

Lost in a limbo between your reality

and wherever the hell I am in my mind.

These are the moments,

these paralyzing panic attacks ooze their poisons –

like little parasites

with their thousands of little parasite feet,

invading every pore of my flesh.

I cannot move

though I tremble.

I can squint my eyes

but I am still blinded by this daze.

I am confused, stranger.

Will this be the day?

Will this awareness of a pure insanity

be the final curtain to my existence?

Dawn has arrived now,

and I have barely finished my first cup of coffee yet.

Sigh.

And this temptress

of the night –

oh, how she soars in!

An incubus to

this wretched man’s soul.

Hovering,

she breathes,

and his dull breath

comes to life.

Caressing his flesh,

she moans.

And in his hollow ache,

he permits.

A siren to beauty –

she’s arrived as sin.

A pleasure to behold

but a curse she will lay upon you.

And in his prime,

this man wails –

but too late it is.

For the spirit of this man

now lays suffocated between the ribbed cage

of that sultry temptress.

Forever now to be hers.

Never to escape.

And the pussy willows sway

in dawn’s sweet ascension.

The morning glories sing out

for Spring has awakened.

And in all my inner glory,

I will rise as well.

Beauty alive,

enlightenment,

the mind animated.

My reality has blossomed

outside of the mind’s view.

My meadow is dynamic

in its intensifying arousal!

Oh, how I dance

under the pale, pink sky.

Soft petals of daffodils surround me –

the leaves of the trees

gently falling about.

I laugh in this daze

amazed by its purity.

A quiet reservation

of my own.

Peace.

Solitude.

Time everlasting.

A zone that exists only in me,

my place of tranquility.

I am sedated

by its graceful nature –

a hush of a tune flows throughout,

a gentle lullaby

to soothe my fears

and dry my eyes.

An essence of my mind.

I will survive.

Hope in boundless swirls –

I am limitless in my imagination.

And this image unfolds,

evolves

from inside this chrysalis of me.

The progression of my design –

flowering,

blossoming,

like a Spring hyacinth.

And I stand bare before this mirror,

admiring a frame

that just captivates my eyes.

A woman,

so solid and lively

stares back at me.

Maturity.

I see in the deep paleness of her eyes,

so much experience and knowledge.

Opening a window

to let me in.

Her smile,

cradling wisdom behind that curve,

(but therein a secret sadness hides)

wraps around the dimples of her cheeks.

And I can see a beauty

like never before.

A confidence.

Growth.

I feel healthy now.

I can start anew.

And sometimes

only paper will listen to you.

Words flowing freely

to convey

what I cannot say.

The pen,

sensing the feelings I just can’t part with.

Though I find,

I am never alone when in thought.

And with this magical hand,

creativity swims fluently where I find myself mute

and unable to fashion the right words.

And sometimes

only paper will listen to you.

And through the sea

they come –

marching in sorrow

for their grief is great.

Old souls who were lost by the raging waves from a monster’s agitation,

now walk an invisible battle line -

dressed in luminescent gossamer robes,

shining like silver rays

that echoed the moonlight’s phase.

The have come for the giant one

who hides between the tides.

And look now!

Here comes the serpent!

Rocking the shimmering aura

of what remains of their once-confident vessel,

though only a translucent breath

from a nearly missed shooting star.

At last, land has entrapped their eyes –

and this was no mirage for the sickly men who prayed for death.

They placed themselves upon the sand now,

and they circled,

chanting.

Putting to rest the massive sea creature

and entangling its spirit with a curse.

So that now tomorrow’s ships may set in gently.

I am the earth drifter

complacent in my solitude.

For all I know is to be alone –

a weed among the perfectly-molded crowd.

And oh!

It’s chaos in here!

Trapped in this globe.

It brings such madness –

a sadness,

a depressive state of mind.

To be lost in time and space

yet chained to the lowest pits in the ground.

I am forever bound.

Tied by their strings

and I am choking as I unwillingly ingest their poisons –

as if I’d ever want to be like them.

I am an earth drifter –

a wanderer,

a mental spirit’s traveler.

And into the massive abyss

I fell.

A world within a mind,

a universe untouched.

Reality is all my own –

this is now a dream awakened.

Those men come marching –

their faces of ticking clocks,

though backwards with time,

spinning wildly.

They open their mouths to me.

And, like fireworks,

out erupts a flock of songbirds,

carrying with them a tune that ignites the magic from within my soul.

A serenade for me.

Then –

the great eagle descends.

Watch how the oaks bear their arms

for his perch.

And I revel in this mastery,

this mystery.

The giant bird sits –

he watches my pondering,

and stares at my thoughts.

The limbs of those trees

extend far beyond their own capabilities now

as they strip me bare

to this fantastic, colorful land.

A liveliness in nature.

A parade of faceless images appear –

and under the ashen smoke, the navigate their dance so precisely.

So uniquely. The intrigue stroking at my sanity.

The luminescent soldiers come forward now,

touching me.

But what a wondrous surprise in their cuff to my flesh!

Making me quiver

in only what I could imagine a great holiness to be.

A metallic, 4-dimensional rainbow bursts alive –

oh, how it streaks about so confidently

along the innocent blue skies.

Its glowing spirit of essence

illuminating the mossy earth below my feet.

I feel it awaken -

a childhood memory to everything the universe has eyed upon,

all it had ever felt,

and it covers me.

A warm, safe blanket.

Security. Peace.

I am not afraid,

sheathed in a gloss of an ever-living dream.

And, oh, how so tenderly it cradles me in its arms –

I can taste upon the breast,

and of the life inside,

as those distant, soothing melodies venture towards my ears.

I can feel the swell

of a new evolution begin.

A renewal.

A birth.

The wings of the eagle spread –

and how exquisitely they are seen,

displayed bravely,

as they shine of a peacock’s dandy nature.

I see.

Falling down upon me,

twirled sensually in an emotional vision,

is a dimly lit brightness lost in the freedom of a feather’s flutter.

Painted.

Artistically captured

though its intensity to never be shown face.

It surely is a vision to behold!

I stand,

and with newfound eyes I see,

the beauty in me.

As the festive dance of a perfect season’s day expands,

and ever so cheerfully,

a bewilderment that lays in the anarchy of happiness reincarnates –

and how that old and mutated cocoon shed itself

from the pricks of my skin!

For I now have wings!

The eagle calls to me –

I follow.

This place is now my own;

a belonging.

The poppies sway in the waves of the sunlight,

readying themselves for the moonlit night.

The bees are coming!

Sweet nectar for their hunger;

to the dandelions they next proceed to

with speed.

And there go the birds!

Soaring high in the sky;

I sigh.

For what a lovely sight is Summer.

Dear rabbit,

come out from your hole.

I do not bite.

Come frolic in the meadow

so that I may relish in this nature story.

I raise my arms to the air –

I am bare.

Come as I am;

be who I am.

You have agitated my patience, my love

please, just a few more moments for myself here.

Children –

calm your cries and play some games,

I’m really getting to the good part here.

The doorbell now?

There are unexpected guests and now

mom’s calling randomly just to check in.

Sigh.

One day, me, one day I will find the time for myself

to keep my nose steady in reading this book. Uninterrupted.