The Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen

Carmichael humperdinked the Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen on a Wednesday afternoon between the hours of 3 pm and 5 pm. Afterwards he ran away and went into hiding because it was a capital offense to humperdink the Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen on a Wednesday afternoon between 3 pm and 5 pm (and Carmichael knew this). However, a few days later, on a Saturday morning, he was caught while humperdinking a cossflogger between 9:15 am and 11:37 pm, by the Stanklemers (who are, as everyone knows, responsible for schlarping any offenders of the Super Sacred Flagepole of Farsnuggen).

The punishment for humperdinking the Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen during the prohibited hours was immediate ransuckling of the offender's scrugnubs straight up the Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen exactly one parsnickitynik from the date of the offense.

As said Carmichael's scrugnubs were being carefully prepped for the ransuckling, Marley Marleyson, Sumpreme Judge Anforker of Capital Crimes Against the Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen (commonly known among the xylmalingers of Farsnuggen as Supreme JACCASS-FoF) asked Carmichael why he would commit such a horrendous crime as humperdinking the Super Sacred Flagpole of Farsnuggen (and that poor cossflogger!)?

"Because," Carmichael answered defiantly, "it was an itch that I just had to scratch!" But everyone knew the real reason was Carmichael just really liked humperdinking flagpoles.