me, since when?

When did I decide that my opinion didn’t matter?

That likes and followers determined my worth

That captions on pictures were more important

Than the memory that was held

Within the frame

That looking cute for school was more important

To me than getting eight hours of sleep a night

That confidence was simply a lie

Parents told you to make friends as a child

That alcohol was a prerequisite for being popular

And parties meant more than grades

That friends were something other people had

And birthdays consisted of a candle in my breakfast cereal

That weekends meant more time in my room

With headphones in ignoring the blaring fact

That the way I was living wasn’t even

Living at all

My life had become what I told myself

At age five it would never become:

A life at the expense of others

I seek for approval from everyone else but me

Because I know that what I think does not matter

That what I say does not matter

That I do not matter

And I am okay with that.