tribute to alexandra fuller

you are a miracle.

I mean think about it,

Your mom carried you around in her stomach

for nine months and then pushed

for hours until finally

somehow

you came into the world.

You are a miracle.

But somehow as years went by you forgot that.

You let the boys who turned you down,

The girls who picked you up

Just to push you down again

Get to you.

You let the clothes that didn’t fit

The parties you weren’t invited to

And the memories you weren’t a part of

Get to you.

You let your anxiety flip you inside out

And force the words you so badly want to say

Back down your throat.

You choke back the tears

Because heaven forbid you show some human emotions.

Because society tells you crying in public is weak.

Because society tells you having emotions is weak.

Because society tells you, you are weak.

They force these thoughts into the room that is your brain

And then plaster over the doors and windows

So they have no other choice but to stay

And these thoughts, they change you.

They rob you of confidence and cripple you

They make you believe them.

And that is the most tragic part

Because once you believe them

The plaster crumbles and the doors spring open

But the thoughts have made a home in your head,

And you have provided them the attention they need to stay.

And you have forgotten:

You are a miracle.