This is all there is

I am

Something soft,

But cloaked in shame

It is

Something oft,

But soaked in pain

After years of waiting,

Nothing came

After years of debating,

I played the game

There is nothing more to it,

No stake and no goal

Just ache and to hold.

This is all there is to it,

This terror, this torment

This horror, this attempt

At life and it’s descent

My flirting with death

Will officially be over

Once you take this breath

The thread that you wove her

Through her heart to keep it still

Has been tugged and shoved to its thrill.

The meds that you stuffed her,

To keep from the ill,

To stitch her mind together,

To remind you to call whenever,

Has been devoured and showered

As it’s own drill

(There is no pretty way to tell you I want to die.)