Ghost in the Glass
Preface:
Life is said to flash before one's eyes when dying; this I know is true.
Death flashes anew when waking to new life. My story begins in just such a way-- with a death, my own.
My Death:
I never would have believed it
My fiancé dressed as a doctor
A little game we used to play
No game this time
But a ruse
To trick me
To trap me
And doctor
Played the fool
And I was indeed the fool
I took the pills
Thinking them mints
I drank the absinth
Thinking to God
What sweet, sweet poison
What cruel hilarity
That poison
That death
Could actually taste so sweet
And all the lovemaking
Swam to mind
As I drowned in a sea of treachery
And deceit
But my face
Became fuzzy behind the glass mirror
Now through shattered shards
And death's veil
I peer
Curious
So curious
I see two beloved honeymooners
On a cherrywood bed
With lemon candles
And holly vines
This is my dream
And oh
Oh there is more
The dear
Sweet
Snow
White
Petals
I could cry
But I am less than ice
Translucent
And in between
Unseen
Forgotten
No
Replaced
And whose face should I see
But Filesha
Filesha
My sworn enemy
Oh that wicked sea goddess
With her wretched
Voluptuous curls
Spun from gold
Surely from Rumpelstiltskin himself
That cheat
I sigh
And the lovers never hear
How they move like music
How he caresses her
With the softest elegance
I never dared he possessed
Thimble to thread
Water to ice
rain to rainbow
But she is no rainbow
Oh the wickedness in that girl
Filesha
That spider
That spinster
Spinning webs of lies
Feigning feelings
And heart bursts
But really just a
Twisted and talented
Marionette puller
They kiss
In the soft, soft candle light
We would have had music
I think
Watching his kiss curls
Brush her pearl pink cheeks
I will give them music
I think
Hearing only the slightest
Pin prick of what ghost tears make
When the depths of despair
Pull out waterfalls
From mere memories
But something is not right
And it's not my broken heart
That aches for its body
And a voice to sing its sorrow
It's Devan
He's dressed
The white coat
The pills
Filesha on the bed
Alone
Crying too
He reaches for the bottle
Transfixed I watch
I dare not know why
Or what is happening
So fast
So fast
The pills are in his hand
Oh his hand
That beautiful brown hand
So bronz
Electric
I remember his touch
He swallows them all
I scream
But wait, I can't scream
It's Filesha
No it's me
It's us
We run to him
Our movements synchronized
Our hatred overcome by love
For this man
For Devan
O'
Oh
Devan
Why
Why
A mirror lies on the floor beside him
I catch Filesha's eye
She mine
I shake my head
I don't want to see
She grabs the mirror
Angry
So angry
Look
She screams
Look
And finally see
I look into the mirror
And such a curious thing I see
I see Filesha's face
There is no longer a me
She holds the glass to her eye
And angles it once more
So that I can see
The girl in the glass is dead
The girl in the glass
Is me