part 1
Grab my hand.
I walk down the steep, gravel path to lecture hall. Next to me he shuffles forward at a relaxed pace. Little pebbles spill down the hill as our heels clunk against the concrete.
Broad daylight means he won’t show me affection. The sun makes it too obvious that he might like me, that I like him, that we could possibly be together, and he doesn’t want our peers to realize that. It’s a secret. He hides it up the sleeves of his oversized flannel. I tug at them, trying to pull it out.
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11PM he shows up outside my dorm building, embracing me in a warm hug hello. No one is around; it’s late on a Wednesday and everyone is in their dorms socializing or eating chips or doing homework or watching TV on this chilly night. It’s dark, but the automated building lights flicker on as we depart from my dorm, illuminating his wandering eyes and timid smile.
He grabs my hand as we walk down the steep, gravel path to the center of campus. I feel shy and nervous. The placement of his fingers feels uncomfortable and I’m all too aware of it, wondering if that’s all he can concentrate on, too. A simple interaction that symbolizes deep intimacy. We’ve only known each other for three weeks.
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It’s no longer sweater weather. I sit cross-legged on the bench, sun beating down on the top of my head and melting down the ice in my coffee. I try to read my textbook but it’s distracting, too many bees buzz around my ankles. It’s early May, a couple weeks left of the semester, and I’ve now spent 17 days in a row with this boy. Dusk to dawn. One building to another. His room to mine. Often concealed by the night sky, our budding relationship exhilarates me, and I don’t want to go back to the city. I don’t want to live more than five minutes from him.
He spots me and approaches. Rubs my arm and closely smiles, eyes glistening. I smooth back his soft, brown hair, but quickly pull away, embarrassed by my own endearment in the bustling midday environment.
What are we? He seems so exposed in his plain white t-shirt than he does in his colorful flannels that I’m so used to seeing him in.