I Try

I wasn't one of those guys who was born great with girls. Some guys just have what girls want, they don't have to try.

Trying's all I got.

--

I hadn't seen her since we went to the movies and things got awkward. She stopped answering my texts, Facebook posts right away.

I felt the wind changing.

So I leaned into it, pushed to hang out with her.

And now, here I am. I used my connection with her friend, who I think has a crush on me, to get to this party of strangers, everyone very young and very hip.

I spot her with the guy she likes from across the party. She looks over and I dart my eyes away, playing awkward hard to get.

My heart's in my throat, I can barely breath. I drink to calm nerves.

Her friend that invited me comes up smiling, hugs me. I peek over her shoulder and see the girl of my dreams. Her name's Kate. She doesn't stand out as a super model, but with most guys, it was a few minutes of conversation and you're a fool for her.

"Hey." She comes over, wariness across her face.

"Hey!" I smile large, push pleasantness.

"I didn't know you were coming." Kate's face blank.

"Yeah, I figured I'd drop in, check it out. How are you doing?" This isn't true. I saw she was going to this on Facebook and engineered my invitation.

"Can we talk?" Kate steps toward the treeline where there's privacy.

Kate's friend eyes us like she's disappointed, maybe just now realizing I'm not interested in her.

I follow her to the treeline, out near an old well. The party's a distant murmur from here.

Kate and I swig cheap beer, don't say much.

"Joint?" I propose.

"Sure." She says. 

I pull one out, half crumpled and poorly rolled. "Not my best work." I joke.

I hand it to her, get a glimpse of her sparkly lipstick. I watch her hold it between her lips, pull smoke and pass the now moistened joint to me.

I take a pull and feel her saliva. It makes me think of kissing her again and I get a bit hard.

"Why do you think you like me so much?" She asks.

It catches me off guard. "Hmm... that's an interesting question... Who says I like you so much?!" I try to lighten things with jokes, she's a stone wall.

"I don't know, I guess you're just a composite of a lot of things I like. I don't really know. Why does anyone like anyone?"

"No. You don't like me like other guys like girls. You think I'm special."

"Yeah, I guess I do." I smirk, feeling a little nervous. She's never talked like this before.

"The kind of special that shows up at my work, follows me home, watches me through my windows..."

"What!" I guffaw. "Really, you think that?"

"You deny it?" She puffs, passes.

"I mean, I admit, I've gone to your work to hopefully try and bump into you, but that's not creepy. I just... I don't know, I've never been good with girls."

"I know what you did to Tyler."

"...What?"

"I know you threatened him, told him to back off. That was I taken, even though I'm not." She says it with dispassion. "And then you beat him."

"What?! Who told you that?"

Kate shakes her head. "I'm sick of this shit. You've been hanging around me like a gnat for years now. Trying to get into my pants without seeming like you are." 

"Whoa... I'm sorry, I-"

"Please... It's not like this is the first time we've had this talk. You say you'll stop but then don't."

I exhale deep. "I... I don't know what you want me to say."

Kate leans down behind the well, picks something up.

"Is that a gun?" I ask. I know it is.

"I'm sorry. You've made my life a waking nightmare and, I just can't do it anymore."

"Whoa, calm down Kate." She keeps the gun trained on me, I try circling away.

"Get in the well, Jason."

"Kate. Stop." I look back towards the party, everyone's gone. Fuck.

"KATE. Do not-" 

BAM!! 

She puts a round into me. I look down see a growing mess of blood around my gut.

I look back, see Kate's friend walking toward me, a face of vindication. She doesn't rush.

"GET IN THE FUCKING WELL."