my last words

I laugh not to cry. Life has already left my eyes, and I feel numb. I have cried so many nights, prayed to whatever gods may be for help, for nothing more than justice. We all die, and we all know it. But knowing your exact day and time is… Cold blue nights. You can’t beat death, but you can beat death in life - and I am unconquerable. I didn’t kill those children. Tomorrow is another day just like thousands of days I’ve lived alone in this cell, singing a silent Hallelujah, and trying to breathe. I am tired - I am sick of begging and waiting for the water to drain. I told everybody the truth, but they couldn't deal with it - it is a lion that no one could tame.

Every night, alone in the darkness of my room, I decide to kill myself early in the morning, but I always end up crying on my knees. All the wounds are hidden, behind the emptiness of soul. I am not empty - I swear I am not empty. And I am less always than alive, and less dead than forgive. Twenty more days until my happy ending. They killed me seventeen years ago when they locked me up, and now, now they are just releasing me - setting me free. I miss life, red oaks, and my daughter's smile. I miss her above all. I miss what I will never have. Don’t let your heart get heavy. Don’t let them beat you.

- I am fighting for freedom!