Block it All (war zone)

The paint is not peeling off the wall

So why am I so anxious?

My standards have become

Unbearable

The life of a perfectionist

Revealed

everything

understood

Categorized

Into tiny boxes

in my brain

Alphabetical

Apocalyptic

Mathematical mayhem

Distance and proportion

Disorder and dishevelment

Pi

Measured daily

My eyes map

The diseased equation

Flip

Color

Sound

Search endless

for any kind of

Beauty

Both sides

Of my brain

Overactive

Reactive

Non reactive

Radio

Active

It is my own

personal Hell

If I could stop

I would

Fuck the terms

PTSD

OCD

Artist

Writer

Lunatic

Hypochondriac

Conspiracy fairest of them all

Titles titles titles

People donʼt like what they donʼt understand

Itʼs all a bunch of bullshit

Kiss ass mother fuckery

I am hyper aesthetic

Sensitive

I have visions

I am empathic

I am unbearably me

Because

the world is on fire

Every day

A new apocalypse

I struggle to breathe

Smog

Controlled weather

Politics

Info wars

Marshall law

Bank holidays

This corruption

These things

matter to me

Our world

Matters to me

Our children

Matter to me

I just wish that they would stop

Mattering so much

Oppression

Obsession

Order

I've come to realize that it is easier to remain

Silent

Bite my lip

Until it bleeds

I just canʼt turn off my brain

Everybody is in denial

Itʼs grotesque

I guess I should just keep my mouth shut

Until I am a corpse

In a FEMA camp

Consume the consumers

I know I should shut up

After all I have everything

Or

Nothing left to loose

My tweezers pick out every flaw

and yank it from the base

root of existence

Never verbally

Just mentally

So this is my cry

This is my stand

God is in the details

Ego a master of disguise

Lust a plight to exaggerate and escape

Sex a primal instinct that mellows with age

Abstinence a choice to remove the blade

Alcohol a filthy liar that seduces all of the above

With screen shots on file

Paste and cut to the side

With single minded madness

The world whips past in mania

To suffocate and seduce

everything in it with fear

Ignore the beggars

they are scam artist

They arenʼt really hungry

get a new tattoo

travel to the zoo

come hear the lions roar

try this snake oil

drink ACV

dirt is bad

donʼt play outside

wash your hands with genocide

try this new toothpaste 

close your eyes and 

buy buy bye

The history of the world has seen this all before

The collapse of civilizations

I hope that I am wrong

I will continue to create

I will continue to debate

mimic purity to the best of my ability

and do my best not to engage

In any rhetoric

wipe down the mirror

swipe it clean

from all the hate

pain and betrayal

just outside my bedroom window

Dive deep into

Dead Sea

Kabbalah

Thomas Merton

Transcendental meditation

Red reading glasses and xanex

Disappear into a nanosecond

I polish the eye of a needle

Expecting it to shine

To catch a phrase that

releases the tension

To move my spirit

for just one moment

away from a screen

As the world

Grows ice cold

I shiver with it

Jaded green

The ugliness

Solidified

Stock up on water and wine

I search the streets

To find a cave

A safe place

Nothing

Just alleyways

Helicopters

guns and the beginning

Of a real war zone

Not over drugs or the cartel

Not on the other side of the tracks

This is a war on freedom

I wait

Paradise is

somewhere

Out there

We each have our own

Maybe

I know

It is not what I see

Here and now

Bits and pieces

fractions of time buried

devouring truth

Inch by inch

Hidden by texts

Stolen Emails

And a false pope

I stare at the red button

DELETE

My thoughts a nuclear missile

To solidify destruction

My city burned

to acid and ash

Wake again

tomorrow

to start

another

day

On mute

The real war

A phone call away

Watch what you say

This is America