Ho White and the Seven Dwarfs(not)

Oh, Ho White was not a virgin

she slept with every young prince

knew all the tricks of the trade

the men lusted after every creamy inch.

The Queen found out and was furious

because Ho White was the fairest

in the land, prettier than the Queen

she banished Ho White to the forest.

Told the huntsman to bring back her heart

after he, also, slept with the fair maiden,

he didn’t have the will to end her life

so he put a plump pig’s heart in a box, laden

Took it to the Queen who chortled

shaking her rolls of fat like grape jellies

realizing she was the fairest because

she made sure the other maidens’ bellies

were either dead or locked in towers

where they smelled and couldn’t take showers.

Ho White came to a little cottage

and found seven little dwarfs residing

named Storm, Thorn, Lance, Stud, Manfred,

Big Boy and Bud, all there abiding.

Luckily, although they were little in stature,

they were not little where it counted –

in fact, their unmentionables were huge

she couldn’t believe the size when they mounted.

She tried one out each day of the week

and sometimes, she had threesomes or more

she was so naughty and having a great time.

Queen found out, sent a poison apple to her door

Ho White ate the fruit and fell in a coma

only a prince could awaken her.

One day, a fair prince who had known

her in the past, saw her and asked “Whatzup?”

He remembered she was a good romp in the hay

so rubbed her body sensually with oil

she began to tingle and moan, “Oh, oh! more!”

and he did and she did and their blood began to boil.

And he swooped her up on his princely white horse

took her back to palace bed where she remained

deliriously romping with the Prince day and night

Happily Ever After! For it was all preordained!