4 AM Coffee Run

"Fools, run!"

Never in my life have I seen Dorian sprint out of fear of his own life. It just never happened.

You see, Dorian has this too-badass-to-be-scared-of-anything going for him. And honestly, the man has every right to. He's 6'6" with blond ash hair braided down the left side of his head. Each braid signifies a thousand warriors he's beaten in battle. I've actually never tried to count them, and if you want to challenge the death glare, then be my guess. I'll just stand over here, picking dandelions.

Now if you really want to meet a Goliath, then look no farther. No, not there. Here, to the right. A little more...more. There. Yeah, that's no wall. His name is Divakar. He's a mythical creature you thought only existed in fairy tales. Guarding castles, stealing maiden princesses and looting treasure. You guessed it. He's a dragon. And the funny part? He really did steal a princess. Her name is Uzi.

Ah, Uzi. Now there's a beauty if I ever seen one. And I have, many times. Uzi though? Other than my Briar, she's the most gorgeous woman creation has ever designed. She's a little thing though. Just don't mention her height. Topping at 5'5"; her combated body can deal a mean punch. She'll KO you so fast you won't even know she hit you until you wake up after a two month coma.

My Briar is a sweet honey too, if I say so myself. She's my better half. She's not all bark and no bite, though. She's feisty, that one.

I suppose that just leaves me. My name is Artery, but my family calls me Art or Arty. Don't ask why I'm named after a blood vessel. My parents were hippies, to say the least. I'm just an average sort of guy, really. I work at an office, I take evening classes, eat lunch at noon sharp. You know, the norm. Oh, and to spice it up, I kill people. Champagne?

So now you know a little about my family. I would argue that we aren't as dysfunctional as we sound, but then I'd be lying. That saying that every family as one black sheep is so overrated. Everyone is a nut case in mine.

But I'm getting side tracked here. Back to Dorian running. Even though he hits the weights like a muscle head, and runs like an Olympian track star; I've never seen him just go at the pavement like it pissed in his cereal. I'm staying a good distance ahead of him and he's gaining ground on me. I don't know about you, but it isn't a very comforting sight. I'll keep up the story, more for my benefit because now I'm scared too and need a slight distraction, but I'm warning you that you shouldn't judge if my thoughts wonder.