420: A Thanksgiving Drug Heist

      As usual, I was already late for our family’s Thanksgiving lunch. The cars piling up on the road in front of me appeared to be stuck, as in a pit full of quicksand. Losing my patience, I angrily leaned on the car horn. I would be stuck in this traffic forever, it seemed.

     Finally, the cars began to inch forward like ants along a log, and I was on my way to my sister’s house. Megan’s place was the largest in the family, so by default she was forced to host Thanksgiving dinner every year. She had been married three—no, four— times, all to incredibly rich and important men who insisted on giving her lavish gifts, like her mansion, until she divorced them. Her curly blonde hair and emerald eyes gave a facade of innocence, but Megan could become vicious at the drop of a hat. I had to admit, she definitely had her ways of getting what she wanted.

     After another few minutes of driving through Megan’s expansive neighborhood, I finally rounded the corner to her street. At once, I was met with the harsh sound of alarms and the flashing lights of police cars. My stomach dropped. The cars were parked in front of Megan’s bricked mansion. What had happened to her? Was she okay? I pulled over and hopped out of my car, running full speed toward her manicured lawn.

     “Nicole! Thank God you’re finally here!” I was immediately intercepted by my mother, who clutched at my back. She held me away from her at arms length, inspecting the green sweater and jeans that I had thrown on in my rush to get here.

     “Dear, you know I hate when you’re late…” she whined, pushing my lanky brown hair off of my forehead.

     “Mom, this is really not the time. What is going on? Why are the police here? And is Megan okay?”

     Our heads whipped towards the sound of Megan wailing from the front porch. With the multitude of voices trying to be heard over each other, I could only catch snippets of her conversation with what appeared to be a police officer.

     “—swear I didn’t know! Paco never said—“

     “—Ma’am, I understand, but you’re still technically an accomplice—“

     Eyes wild, I turned back toward my mother, who had suddenly gone pale.

     “Mother, explain this, right now.”

     “Nicole, dear, compose yourself, and I’ll tell you.”

     I took a deep breath, then counted to ten. I was ready.

     “Well, it all started when your sister introduced us to her newest love interest, Paco…”

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     “Everyone, I’d like you to meet my boyfriend, Paco! We met while I was on vacation in Cuba.” Megan beamed widely as she pulled Paco in front of the table for everyone to see. Paco was dressed in khakis and a Hawaiian shirt, and squirmed uncomfortably in front of the prying eyes of the family. In broken English, Paco greeted everyone, then awkwardly sat down next to Megan’s mother. Megan remained standing, playing the part of the attentive hostess.

     “Anyone need some snacks? The turkey will be ready in a few minutes.”

     The family chattered lightly with each other, catching each other up on what had happened in the past year and kindly complimenting Megan’s house.

     “I wonder where Nicole is? She wouldn’t miss Thanksgiving, would she?” Megan asked.

     “No,” her mother answered her. “You know Nicole, she shows up just in time for the food.” Megan’s mother suddenly turned toward Paco, who had been fiddling with the cheese platter that Megan set out.

     “So Paco, I hear you’re from Cuba. What exactly do you do down there?”

     Paco stiffened, looking at Megan for support.

     “Don’t be shy, dear, you’re almost a part of this family now.”

     Glancing one last time at his girlfriend, Paco finally answered, “Well, I guess you could say I work in the, uh, what is the word? Pharmaceutical industry.”

     “Well, that’s nice. I’m glad that you and Megan are so happy together.” Megan’s mother turned her attention to the kitchen. “Oops, Meg, I think your turkey is finished.”

Smoke was curling lightly from the oven. With a yelp, Megan ran toward it, brandishing an oven mitt. Suddenly, there was a pounding knock at the door. Megan’s green eyes, filled with anxiety, turned pleadingly toward her mother.

     “It’s fine, Megan, you worry about the turkey. I’ll get the door. It’s probably only Nicole anyway.”

     While Megan fanned the open oven with her mitt, her mother pranced to the door.

     “Hello, Nicole! We’ve been—“

     But when she opened the door, it wasn’t Nicole who was staring back at her. It was the ominous face of a police officer.

     “Ma’am, I’m going to have to ask you to step aside. We’ve obtained a search warrant for this property, and we are going to need to enter it. According to an anonymous tip, a wanted drug smuggler and his goods are being harbored in this house.”

     Brandishing a piece of paper, the officers charged into the house. Megan’s mother yelped, then promptly started screaming.

     “MEGAN! The police are in your home!”

     The guests started exclaiming and asking questions about what was going on, when Paco quickly stood up and put his hands in the air. The police were swift in handcuffing him and demanding to see where he was hiding the drugs. Megan stalked up to the nearest officer and demanded to know why her boyfriend was being taken into custody.

     “I’m sorry to inform you of this, ma’am, but your boyfriend is a wanted drug smuggler from Cuba. We’ve been after him for some time, and it appears he may have been using your house as a discreet location to store his drugs.”

     “But that’s impossible! Paco is completely innocent! He is the sweetest man I know!”

     “That may be the case, but you are still considered an accomplice to his crimes.”

     A loud crack followed by a creaking noise sounded from the corner of the room. Paco stood, still handcuffed, next to an officer who was pulling up a floorboard. Underneath was an open safe, revealing pounds of marijuana. The officers seized the drugs, then carted both Paco and his goods outside to their flashing cars.

     One officer stayed back and grabbed Megan, asking her to come to the car as well.

     “You can’t make me! I did nothing wrong! Paco never told me what he was doing. I had no way of knowing! Get your hands off of me!”

     “Ma’am, we are going to need to bring you in for routine questioning. As of right now, you are not in trouble, but you are still technically considered an accomplice. We just need you to cooperate…”

     Megan and the officer continued to fight, when a silver car pulled up.

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     “And that is when you arrived.” my mom finished, out of breath.

     “So, let me get this straight,” I began. “This whole time, Megan has been dating a Cuban drug lord and she didn’t even know?”

     “Well, he did say he worked in the pharmaceutical industry….”

     “MOTHER! Is Megan going to be okay?”

     “Of course she’ll be fine. They just need to question her a bit about how Paco was traveling around and where he had been. She’ll be released soon enough. As for Paco, I don’t think he’ll be getting out anytime soon.”

     “Well, in that case, I’m leaving.”

     Ignoring my mother’s calls about turkey, I charged back to my car. My sister’s revelation had shocked me so much, I didn’t think I could stand the inevitable family gossip that was bound to be spread without feeling nauseous. A night spent watching television and eating whatever leftovers I could find in my fridge sounded more my speed.

As I crossed back over the street I had just come from, I thought about Paco and Megan, and began to laugh. This had been the most bizarre Thanksgiving I had ever experienced. I would call Megan at prison and see how she was doing, and hopefully get some more details.