The Weather Today

Weather 'tis nobler in the mind's eye

To suffer…this dreadful cold.

I doubt it not but that something other's beast of burden

Hast wrenched this pitiful state of man in clouds of unshaken

Rain. It's raining cats…I think. But then again, could be dogs?

How should I know? I say I'm the weather man just so as I can say something about something.

The weather report isn't really that accurate anyhow. It's just one man interpreting a map with little 'squigglies'. I'd really rather dance! Fat chance. Get up and give a reading of romance? Or how about a line from Willy Shakes?! Eat your heart out, Shakespeare! Or what about a few anecdotes from Thoreau: "The weather today is bright and sunny. Ought to have a swim, but feeling rather cramped in my cabin now. Really ought to go outside. Scared of the beaver. Eating lots of beans these days. Not as good as mother's pot roast in town. O, I dread the day when I must confront Emerson and inform him of my poor state of Affairs. Well, at least the beans I planted have started to sprout and the water was very refreshing Yesterday. I don't know Why I'm capitalizing every other Word. Seems to just Make sense though, seeing as I AM Henry David Thoreau. Woldn't suspect my Neighbor of any suspicious activity, seeing as I Have None. Well, that's all for To-Day. Join us next Time on the Thoreauvian Weather Channel, coming to you directly from KISS 99.1 Boston."