P-Unicorn

A winklesnort is a unicorn fart. Like all noises a unicorn makes, winklesnorts are melodic and in 3/4 time. They are also pleasantly fragrant, and if there happen to be any flowers nearby, which there typically are, the blooms will close up out of jealousy. Flies will bother a unicorn only when it winklesnorts during the full moon, for it is rumored that one or two might change into a butterfly whilst passing though the broken wind. Winklesnorts are colorless except on the feast of St. Andrew, when they will iridesce. The origin of the word, winklesnort, is lost to antiquity, though Pliny is careful to point out that it is not onomatopoeic.