I wish my brain would be quiet.

The silence is deafening sometimes. Your brain is screaming, pacing back and forth. Your mouth doesn't move. You stay quiet. You sit on your bed covered by a thick layer. The room is quiet, the house is quiet and you realize how alone you are. The silence is peaceful but at the same time it makes you want to just yell until all the air dissipates from your lungs. Just to hear something, anything other than the demons inside of you. They get so loud sometimes, they tell you that you aren't good enough, that you'll never go anywhere in this lifetime, never be productive. They tell you how ugly you are, how fat, how useless. Your brain has been taken over by a parasite. A parasite with no cure. You pop antidepressants like they are oxy. Your brain shuts down every night at four in the morning, and you wake up at noon. It never stops, the panic, the tortuous thinking. It hits you like a recklessly moving car with a drunk driver behind the wheel. It hits you and the world stops. The words don't leave your mouth but the words never stop in your brain. The silence is deafening.