just fine

no greater noose than

the one that grips my heart.

spirit so weary,

i am lost in my own mind.

connect the dots to find the flaw.

concealing debts behind pure eyes.

my world collapses, but only i see.

an answer seems out of reach.

pushed to the edge of my limitations.

bound by guilt and self-hatred.

what does the future hold?

blinded by my own anxiety.

"lust for the darkness!"

"there is no hope!"

"what god would love you?"

"we are all living to die!"

can i hide behind a "just fine"

or do my eyes give way to blood?

is there anybody out there

who bleeds as much as me?

peace is in my sleep

as i dream of a greater tomorrow

and when i start the day

i drag my shattered soul out of woeful pits.

maybe things are getting better

or maybe it's wishful thinking.

maybe it's for a greater meaning

or maybe i am being punished.

in solitude i gain tranquility,

in nature i find meaning,

in prayers i find hope,

and on paper i give my heart.

it takes baby steps to get better

and i am now standing up.

dark skies lie ahead until death

but this fire within gives guidance.

-d.s.