She’s having God’s Baby

"Start packing, Mary, we're going uptown to register ourselves in this God-forsaken town." Joe ordered.

"But I'm gonna pop any second!" Mary protested, pointing to her stomach, which was anything but a baby bump.  More like a blimp, she thought.

Joe, ignoring her protests kept packing at a furious pace.

When they went out to their car, they found it wouldn't start.  Joseph eyed the Harley and loaded that up until the sidecar and compartment would hold no more.

"Wait, forgot the diapers!" Mary said, as Joe stepped on the pedal, starting the bike.  She ran and grabbed the diapers as Joe, confused, put the bike in gear.

"C'mon Mary, we're ready to fly!"

"Joe, I said I forgot the diapers."

"Oh, I guess I couldn't hear over the roar of the bike."

Smirking, he helped her on the back of the bike and away they went to the next town.  Mary hated the bumpy ride, as it felt like the baby would escape at any moment.  Thankfully, it didn't take very long and there wasn't a lot of traffic on this cold winter night.

"Name?" The attendant demanded.

"Joe and Mary Smith."  Oh, yes, I see you now.  You two live in Bedford?

Mary stepped up to the counter and showed the attendant her stomach. 

"Make that three."

"Okay, very well, three of you live in Bedford."

"Yes, that's right." Mary said, nearly breathless.

"Have you picked out names?"  The attendant asked.

"Just one".  Mary replied. "Jesus."

"Oh is that so?" The attendant shot back sarcastically.

"Yes."  Joe said.  "She's having God's baby."

The attendant marked something on a sheet, looked past the couple and yelled "next."

"Joe, do you think they counted us?"

"Well, even if they didn't, we made the effort."  I'm not sure he's a believer.

"Oh, well, we call those unchurched." Mary replied cautiously.  "We did all we could do."

Mary started to hold her stomach and stepped in a puddle of water.

"Joe, is it raining?"

"No, why?"

"Then I think my water just broke."

"We gotta get you to the nearest hospital, if I can figure out where that is."  Joe frantically started punching buttons on his phone to no avail.  He couldn't think straight, his mind was a blur.  This was really happening!  She was having God's baby!  Months of knowing the truth couldn't have prepared him for what happened next.

"Okay I punched up Priceline and Healthfinder, but only one place came up."  So they headed there quickly only to be informed that there was a computer glitch, and it oversold rooms. 

Seeing Mary's predicament, the clerk came back a few minutes later offered Joe some coffee and Mary a wheelchair.

"I'm sorry sir, but I've been calling every hotel within 100 miles of here and nothing is available."  The hospitals are at max capacity with the flu epidemic and they tell me there's at least a 6 hour wait.

"6 hours?" Mary gasped.  "Jesus will be here by then!"  "No, you must find me a room - NOW!" Mary demanded at the top of her lungs.

The clerk responded sternly.  "Look, the only thing I can offer you, your partner and Je-sus is an outbuilding we use for storage.  It's a small town and we're okay with that but normally we would send you packing, but seeing the predicament you're in, we'll help you out.

"Thank you, ma'am."

"Don't mention it."  The clerk replied.  "Good luck with Je-sus."  She added slyly.

The couple made their way slowly to the outbuilding behind the motel.  Joe tried dialing their doctor and 911, however service was spotty and both calls didn't go through.

"I guess I'm delivering God's baby."  Joe said, throwing up his hands and getting to work.

Joe gathered leftover blankets, pillows and towels from the hotel and had Mary lay on them.  He closed the door as much as possible so she wouldn't get a chill.  The hotel was kind enough to send an employee out with water and supplies.  Mary set her diaper bag down next to where they settled for easy access.  Joe found some music on his phone and instructed Mary to breathe.

Joe continually wiped her forehead and noticed contractions were coming closer together. She appeared quite dilated, not that he'd know anything beyond the books he read.

Finally, after several pushes and immense pain, Jesus was born.  Joe was astonished that he appeared perfectly healthy yet did not cry at all.  He was pink and breathing! 

Soon after Mary gave birth, a doctor from the hotel came by and checked Jesus and Mary out and gave them a clean bill of health, but still warned there were no rooms available and they'd need to spend the night there.  The hotel was gracious enough to provide a cot for Mary and a portacrib for Jesus.  Mary wrapped Jesus in some hotel cloths and laid him in the portacrib.  He soon closed his eyes, exhausted from their and Mary followed suit.  Joe gave thanks for his new family and made a promise to God to always watch out for them and keep them safe.  He wasn't too upset about the accommodations, figuring he'd have quite the story to tell the grandkids someday and felt quite a sense of accomplishment in delivering Jesus.  He looked up at the night sky and lost himself in this moment that was wonderful beyond words.  Mary had God's baby and all was right with the world.