trying to save my own hide

I was born in

the land of self resentment

raised in magazines

diet fads

wads of tissue

body issues

muddled images

manifested by models

consuming oxygen

omitting outlandish

expectations

to be a size smaller

larger

shorter

taller

I was a stranger in my skin

a rental home

temporary establishment

vacant

awkward

too much space between bones

I still don't have a home

but I'm getting there

a guest of my own gut

regaining the glow I lost

attempting to be thin

trying to fit in

trying to win

with the hand I was delt

filled with fibs and

flattered with

every remark

I'm working on

rebuilding the walls

we wrecked

trying to maintain

the frame of

a broomstick

a candle wick

I used to knaw on the

support beams to my own

soul to keep my stomach

from giving it away

that I was never

effortless

I'm learning to fix

chipped paint

repair shattered glass

glue broken bitterness

back into bite sized pieces

and swallow them like strawberries

allowing myself

to enjoy their sweetness

maybe one day I'll beat this

and find my to the home

of my own skin