A Normal Work Day, Except for the Zombies

I left for work at seven AM as usual. I start at 7:15 most mornings at the Piggley Wiggley in Princeville Illinois. As I walk in, I punch the clock and say hi to my boss, John Friedling, "Hi John."

"Hi Nathan. We sold a lot of pot roasts and rib eyes yesterday."

"I'll get right on it." You see, I'm Nathan Block, the store butcher. We buy locally raised beef and I cut the carcasses to the most popular cuts.

At least that's what I thought would happen. At 7:40 AM, I had just finished my first rib eye, when I heard yelling in the store. I popped out of my cold room to chaos.

Dozens of zombies were in the meat aisle, chasing customers, and eating raw meat out of the coolers. Not cool. That's gotta be bad for business. I grabbed my biggest cleaver and knife and attacked the closest zombie.

CHOP! There goes the head. He's down for the count. I didn't even need the knife in my left hand--until out of the corner of my eye I caught motion from my left. Spinning, I backhanded the zombie in the throat with my knife. The green, discolored mottling on its face was covered by spurting, arterial blood. I dispatched it with an overhand cleaver shot to the head that split it like a musk melon.  So that's what brains look like!

Vaguely, I'm aware of other people fighting zombies too. Looking up from the two dead undead at my feet, I see my boss John fending off two with the fire extinguisher. He'd blast them in the face, blinding them, and then beat them in their heads until they collapse. Way too much work, in my opinion, especially, since he was outnumbered six to one.

I ran to his aid. When he blinded one, I split its head. Left hand knife to the neck again. Head off. Neck one more time. And six were down. In fact, they all were down. The stocking boy had grabbed the fire axe and felled them like trees.

"Whew! Thanks for helping Nathan. I thought I was a goner."

"No problem.  Looks like we've got a clean up in the meat aisle."

"I'll get the mop."