I Hate Mondays

Dear diary,

  OMG! Today  was totally weird! First of all Jess must've changed my alarm tone. 'Walking on Sunshine' ugh! She knows I HATE that song! And of course the stupid guy at the dry cleaners couldn't get that spot out so then I couldn't wear my lucky blouse for my big presentation. I mean that completely through me off and at that point I was running super late!

  There must've been some massive citywide celebration last night 'cuz everyone's either sick, grumpy or both. Some grody hungover guy was seriously puking right at the bus stop. (Bus people are soon gross!) Even the hot guy at the coffee shop messed up my order, twice, didn't secure the lid properly, and nearly caused a stain on my back-up lucky blouse. As I turned to get my own napkins, I was horrified to realize, I'd forgotten my phone!!

   Not surprisingly things didn't improve once I got to work. Who wants to start their day in a tiny elevator full of sickies? It really made me wish I'd had one of those Asian bird flu masks. And I think that creepy nerd from IT was touching my hair or something 'cuz he scratched my neck, So Nasty! Longest elevator ride ever!

  Almost immediately after I got off of the elevator Michael and Joe got into an argument, which isn't unusual, but what was weird was how it turned so violent so quickly. I had to hop aside as security came to break it up! They should be fired! (I could've gotten hurt!). Maybe they were because they certainly weren't there for my presentation, for that matter there were a lot of people missing, even Tabbby (so rude!).The people who did show up may as well have been absent too. And that cow, Tara just sat there like zombie through the whole thing! Mr. Collins was even called out right in the middle for some "emergency". I don't know why I even bother, my talents are obviously being wasted at that company!

   As I walked back to my cubicle I could hear arguments and even wrenching sounds, people really shouldn't come to work sick, they're gonna end up infecting the whole office! Apparently not everyone who works there is brain dead because overall there really weren't many people around. I was just going call and make sure Tabby was o.k. then duck out myself. Why should I bother to work when no one else was?

  Of course my phone was here at home so I had to use the office land line. It took me forever to remember how to work the stupid thing (but I certainly wasn't going to call that IT creep for help). I finally got an outside line when I realized that I don't know anyone's number. I tried to look the number up online but of course the computers were down. I'd have to check on her when I got home.

  You would think getting out of a nearly abandoned building would be a piece of cake, well not today! No elevator service, I had to take the stairs! The IT creep WOULD be skulking around in the star well. He actually grabbed me!  He pulled me toward him, I almost wretched, he smelled worse than I could've imagined! I think he was coming in for a kiss! I kneed him in the groin and got out of there! HR is definitely going be hearing about this!

  I finally made it outside! I have never seen such madness! It's a good thing I don't live far from the office because the streets were deadlocked. It looked like a 'gross' pride parade had run amok. There was so much riff raff just everywhere. People were assaulting each other right in the street in broad daylight! And these people were the dirtiest ugliest bunch I've ever seen. The cops weren't able to control anybody, in fact I saw a cop actually tackle one of the few other normal people who were there. Then this gnarly looking street gang caught sight of me and came towards me! That was enough for me I started to run home. I was actually beginning to feel a little panicky! Luckily, for me, they spotted some old lady and started after her instead! It was like that the whole way home, I know I sound paranoid but it seemed like every loser in the city was out and out to get me! I mean kids are freaky naturally but a group of filthy, probably lice ridden,  eight year olds moaning and shuffling after you like rabbid animals is downright terrifying!

  Now I'm safely at home. Locked in tight, thank God! I called Tabby to see how her "sick" day was but my call wouldn't go through. I'm just gonna take a hot shower, and put this horrible day behind me. 

  I think I'm gonna be the one calling out tomorrow. I'm really not feeling well at all!