Reflection

Wildly, I erupt in panic, tears falling, breath catching, the burning core of who I am torn into two as I see what cannot be true.  

Blinking rapidly, I pant, blink, pant, blink, each time expecting, each time terrified, something to change, nothing changes.

What words, what thoughts, what answer can explain the rend in reality that has broken my mind, fractured my soul, opened up my body so another can inhabit it's space?

I scream at those eyes, plead with myself to acknowledge that nothing is wrong, that I am only having a temporary break from my sanity, sobbing when I look back caustically at myself, tears on my fingers betraying the lie on my face. 

A blubbering, frightened child.

A restrained acerbic stranger.

I cannot tell, must hold my secret close.  I am afraid that they will tell me what I already know; I am crazy.  They will lock me up, take me away from my home, strip me of what sanity I have left.

So I must live.  I must pretend.  I must hide the eyes that are not mine, hide the identity that threatens to steal mine, become exactly who they expect me to be.

I must believe the lie.