You know, they say that Heaven is where the Angels go. Where the good people end up, surrounded by lights and loved ones and music and whatever they could dream up. It’s where people live their afterlife in happiness and comfort.
So, this isn’t to say that I wouldn’t enjoy living up here, but holy hell — pun intended here — this place was nuts.
For one: that “pearly gates” garbage is total bullshit. Some thing dropped me on Heaven’s front door without even a word of: “Oh these are the parts of town you should probably avoid.” Meanwhile, I’m just staring. Sure, there was a magnificent castle at the center of all of this chaos and there were guys with wings flying around — whom I presumed were the Angels — but these so-called Guardians were chasing people around with flaming pitchforks. Which, if I must remind you is literally the image we force feed children and say: “This is the Devil.” Now, I guess Lucifer technically started off as an Angel, but still. I didn’t think I’d hear people screaming in Heaven or be worried that I’d be struck by lightning — because, let me tell you, that was one angry storm starting to form over the city.
“You look lost,” someone drawled, and I blinked, dragging my eyes back down to the rusted doorway I’d been so graciously set down at. Her wings glistened like a dark touchscreen — only it wasn’t littered with fingerprints — and knives hung from her crooked and sagging pants.
“I mean, I feel like that’s a given.” I frowned. “Unless you’ve seriously met someone who didn’t look confused when they got sent up here.”
She laughed, and the melody ringing in my ears, now that sounded much more like Heaven. “It wasn’t always like this; we weren’t always so bored up here… And besides, once upon a time, you humans feared us.”
“But still…”
She arched an eyebrow at me. “Are you saying that, if you could live forever, you wouldn’t eventually run out of “good” or “holy” things to do? Because let me tell you: we’re not that different from you, mortal. We really just have an evolutionary advantage over you in that we can fly and we’re God’s messengers.”
“Only.”
“I don’t know if you realized this or not, but the guy upstairs hasn’t had a whole lot to say to y’all recently…which means no work for us.”
“Must be such a struggle.”