Day 1

Do I even bother dating this? The old measurement of time means nothing anymore, it means nothing to a civilization unraveling, becoming uncivilized. So consider this Day 1, Year 1. B.E. (Beginning of the End)

I don't understand what's happening. Sure, I've heard of it a million times, but its the stuff of movies. It was always fictional. I've seen the news, I remember the first time they mentioned zombies without joking. I remember the first time they said it was possible. I remember when they said it was coming sooner than anyone thought. I remember when they issued the first zombie apocalypse warning, and I wanted to laugh in some sick way because it felt like a stupid dystopian teen romance novel. 

I started to wonder who I would be, if I would be the bad ass girl who saves the world, or merely one among a million other helpless people, terrified of dying, and terrified of living. I don't know what there is too do, I never prepared for this, I never really believed it could come to this, but now I look out my window and it's here. This is only the beginning, it can only get worse. I sit inside, It's not safe to go out. It's not safe in here either, but there isn't anywhere that really is. We still don't know how the virus is traveling, no one knows anything. All we know is that some people are walking around half dead and we can't save them, we can think only of saving ourselves from them. 

Everything around me seems useless. all the trinkets and things I've collected, all the work I've put into my schooling, it's all pointless now. None of it matters. My Volleyball knee pads and my alarm clock, my college applications. All my makeup and perfume. All the fashionable clothes I've wasted too much time thinking about. It hurts me to look at all of it, because even as it isn't gone now, I know it will be. It all represents a style of life that's over now, an age coming to a sudden end. I am so jealous of everyone who died before me, everyone who got to live this life I was supposed to have, that I almost had. 

I was supposed to go to college, I was supposed to study to be a journalist. I was supposed to get married and have beautiful children and watch them grow up. I was supposed to have a life that meant more than survival. But I will never have that life.

Me and millions of other people won't have the life we've worked our butts of for, and we can do nothing about it.

This might be my last day, or the beginning of my last days, so Goodbye.

Goodbye, please remember me fondly. 

-Mia