Rambles about Medication

There are times when my stomach turns queasy at the possibility that by swallowing my pills I am also swallowing my true self

It is not that I believe the drugs are ineffective,

It is the paranoia that may be too effective

Is it fair to give a part of myself away to pills,

Even if this part was filled to the brim with bad decisions?

Am I medicating away my feelings?

Will my personality dry up,

Will the fire go out?

Will my soul wither if I choose to decrease the intensity and pain of my experiences?

Is sanity worth preserving authenticity?

My art suffers so and I fight:

Genius or sanity!

Pick, quick!

Productivity or sanity!

Pick, quick!

It is then I have to remind myself,

This is not a choice simply between madness and sanity,

But a choice between life and death

Whether manic or depressed,

If it is more than suicide:

It is stupidity, it is vulnerability

Nonetheless, tragedy

It is madness in every extreme.