REALLY!? Really???

[This is not a letter, but i appreciate the chance to rant!]

In my first apartment, my lease did not allow pets.

I had gotten the place with a friend I'll call S.W.I.M [which stands for "Someone Who Isnt Me" like on the ex-addict forums Ive been reading for information on the little man seen while huffing butane. (Shared global hallucinatory phenomena intrigues me, i do not do inhalants) Anywho..]

When I was 18 my female friend, Swim, was kicked out of her parents house for the least reasonable, most-detestable-reason ever: She was dating a Black man.

I have never been a fan of injustice, bigotry, or hate, so I immediately gave her my bed at my dad's house, where I stayed at the time, and slept on the couch. I also got her a job at my second job at the time, a telemarketing gig for a privately owned painting company. 

After about 3 weeks at my dad's, I had concocted the plan to get my own apartment with Swim and be roommates! I even went a step further and worked out a business loan with my very awesome boss Geraldo, for a 1500 dollars to be paid 50/50 out of my, and swim's pay checks. Nothing could be better.. I thought... but I was naive...

FLASH FORWARD to 14 months later, and I'm paying fines for swim breaking the lease she had begged me to re-sign with her just a month earlier. Having begged me because she would have "nowhere else"...

 This WAS a consideration, but my real reason for staying in that damn contract, was that it was the only way I could ensure I'd be around her to get the $400 i had paid in her rent the previous month. It was a pretty optimistic pipe-dream to say the least and i regret it only slightly less as time heals it's wound. 

THE KICKER, that did it, that ended that monstrosity of a situation, was something far cuter than it's consequences; A kitten.

One evening I came home to find a cute little ball of fluff crapping behind the terrible "80's beach condo" couch swim had insisted on keeping in our shared space. I was displaced with rage, but I am weak willed against adorable things, and the kitten conversation we held ended on a "Just talk to me before making these kinds of decisions, please." Note.

I could have chocked on the load of crap I came home to day after that night. The kitten she had gotten had magically mulitipied and the one thing I thought she couldn't possibly do again she had, in the exact same way. AGAIN IT WAS THE VERY NEXT DAY!!! She went and got another kitten without talking to me! Her lack of respect, at that moment, pulsed through me so deeply that it is permanent. "She is no friend!" was my impression and she won't be changing it, but ill lament that she tried. She tried in the worst possible way last year. I remember it clearly; At my brother's funeral. Swim showed up like the worst kind of asshole(I hadn't seen her since she got us kicked out for those kitties and she had never paid me) and through my sobs asked me, "We are cool right? I'm so sorry for your loss."

Now, I'm just sorry for my loss of words at the time because I would have cussed her ass to the other side of the Mississippi if i had had the mind about me.

SOMETIMES PEOPLE AMAZE ME and I'm left saying the title to this coldly...