What Was, What Is, And What Will Be

Memories are now a million shivers that leave me blind

Yet, through the pain I have gained sharper sight

It’s good they say, but I am scared half to death

To go back... face monsters whose words I said

Make me, shape me, mold my mind

Let my actions reflect when I try

I was, will, never better

But I am scared to death I’ll be this way forever

I took my hand that did the deed and from myself I severed

The lips that said the vile words that cut like swords

I sealed them shut forever

So not an utter or a word

But then, paralyzed and dumb

I found that I was no longer who I was

I could not hit or feel or use them badly

Yet I couldn’t hug or heal them who hurt sadly

I couldn’t swear or shout or spew in anger

But I could not sing or condole - a feeling even stranger

I reattached the cast off limb

I broke to dust the plaster on my frozen lips

I picked up a shovel and sang a song

I buried who I was and it left my arms strong

With my strength, I lifted high the ones I hurt

And rebuilt the walls I rendered to dust and dirt

I sang a song of what was to come

And I fell asleep knowing I’m not done