Why not celebrate? Let me count the ways.

We've been married for a very long time.

I don't need prompting to buy roses and wine.

He claims to forget, but I think it's design.

"I don't really like you. I'll have to decline."

Why should I do anything? We've just met online.

The day has origins that are neither cute or divine.

Capitalist pigs exploit it for the bottom line.

"I'll make thee mine, if I can be thine."

"Cut the crap, you sap, I'd rather take strychnine."

She never likes what I get, and I can't stand the whine.

Think for yourself, screw peer pressure, and get a spine.

Whatever you do, please, please, don't be my Valentine.