I.

Heat. It seems such a primitive thing, the sun, it has always shone, always burned and concluded the shining of the stars and moon temporarily. In this moment it has awakened me. Heat. I try to soak it in but thirst reminds me of this thing called mortality. I don't have time to use observing the affects of this solar phenomenon.

I suppose trying to figure out how or why I woke up here this way, would be the first inclination of most but my need for water exceeds my desire to look back on the path behind.

I need something, but which way is the most likely to lead me to that need. Toward the sun is dry and cracked ground, mud, breaking up under the relentless day. The direction forward has grass leading to trees. Trees mean life, roots and Earth. This is the way.

Water, I see it's clarity before the word itself has had time to conceptualize in my mind. Cool, moving. Rushing? It's moving in one direction. It came from somewhere and it is going somewhere. Which somewhere is the somewhere I should go? I cup water I my hands and drink it steadily.

Since waking up decisions have burdened me! Why can I not meander? Why must I think of the consequence of every choice I make.

Is this freewill? Freedom? I must make these choices?

I don't feel free. I look down at my body, nothing restricting me or my movements, but then no protection for the vulnerability of my skin either. Perhaps this is the tribute to be paid for freedom. Our choices may be required but they, all things equal, should protect us the way clothes do.

So are choices a burden? I come to the conclusion that just was fabric has weight so do decisions; just as cloth can protect so it can block, so it can take away from our human experience.

Choices have weight, but they can protect, even sometimes block, and even so, sometimes take away from our human experience. Water makes it descent into my body satisfying not only the damage of the heat but something else too, something primal and strong. I hug myself as my stomach cramps - I remember this all too well, this also woke me - hunger. Since the water is satisfying I take more in and gulp it down. I lose myself in trying to satisfy that I don't feel it all coming back up until it is too late. An unpleasantly bitter taste fills my mouth, desperation causes me to wretch again. My eyes grow wide watching the yellow substance plop onto the ground in front of me. Too much. First I was thirsty and needed it, now I've had too much and my body has rejected it.

Yellow, hard, spiky, round blooms catch my eye. I look closer at this latest distraction. I look down at the ground, my mess, yellow. Perhaps this bloom is something I need. I pluck off the tree and test its hardness with my hands, I need something harder. A rock sitting just under the rushing water in the stream seems adequate. I hit the bloom with it and green juicy seeds spill out. I put the bloom to my lips and slurp it into my mouth. I spill on my chin and revel in the taste of this new experience. My stomach agrees with this decision beckoning me to eat more, more, and more. I look back at my mess by the moving water - too much.

Movement yanks me out of my consciousness. I stare at the ground and force my eyes to focus. Ants - their abdomens full of a clear, honey colored substance. I want to taste it. I pick the ant up and put in my mouth. It's legs move until I bring my jaw down to kill it. The juice tastes of life but the ant tastes of death. I pick up another - this time bring it's back end to my mouth and sucking the honey out that way. It isn't much but it is enough for when there is no water nearby. I gently put the ant back down to begin it's cycle of collecting water and nutrients again.

Something troubles me. Danger? I look above me, none that can be seen. In front, behind, both arm's sides, none to be seen. It feels different than danger but somehow just as upsetting. I hold my palms up to my eyes and follow the lines. Why do I have these lines? Doesn't another creature have such lines? Where are the me's that are like me? I must find them and know them - know what they know. We must meet and share our resources! Do they know of this honey ant? Do they know about drinking too much water? Not enough water? That trees have blooms? I can teach them these things. Oh, but what could they teach me? What if the lines on their hands are different? What else could be different? What do they look like? Action strikes and I run to the stream, I look up at the light to be sure it's there, down at the water. I see it again, movement on the water, not in it. It's moving just as I am moving and so this must be me!

Life leads to more life. The grass led to the trees which led to the water which led to Earth which could lead to animals, which could lead to more me's.

I must go - my purpose of this moment is found! I will search always for more life than I have seen to that point. In doing so, I must live more in each passing moment. Every moment is a choice to move to the next one.

This is how my life is created.

What could another me show me? How would it feel to touch? What could we learn together?

I walk along the water - every me must thirst so following the stream seems the surest way. I must be sure it doesn't change directions like the "space" around me does from time to time, when that happens the trees and the grass dance. I want to move my body, and so I do, arms everywhere. Legs jumping and kicking, skipping and leaping. My heart pounds heavily and I relish the tingles happening in my body. I feel something strong - alive. I feel alive. I collapse into the muddy bank of the stream. It feels good to fall I am not feeling so many things now.

My body feels different now, moving is good, falling and dancing are fun. Something washes over the tingles I was feeling. My pictures grows smaller and now I am falling in a different way. Nothingness.

II.

No light is peaking through the window - "5: 46 AM!" my phone is blinking with a light much too strong for my eyes at this hourly state of drowsiness.

Welp, no time to waste!

Except, is any time truly wasted? I look at my phone and the promise of tasks it brings, today just isn't a day for those tasks.Today is not that day. Rest is the first priority. Sleep.

Light! - 7:45 AM my phone shines. Time seems to become tangible.

I hug my coffee with my hands. What is my current situation now?

Hunger? Yes. Food? Plenty of eggs in the fridge.

Two sunny side up eggs later I have compiled my working list for my full day of little resolutions. Intelligence must be used wisely. I realize I could ride this wave of unimpeded mental capacity to tackling world issues, but see, this would be selfish of me. The world must change as it will and I should only affect that change in the ways that are most natural to who I am and the life I lead on this Earth.

In this particular order:

- call mom

- resign

-book flight

- withdrawal my savings

- pay the last month's rent

- drive my plants over to mom's

- pack

- GO

Many stories, quite a few "goodbye" attempts, internet usage, other phone calls, soil on the carpet of my trunk, a resignation notice, a passport photo taken 6 years ago, and a heavy backpack later, I am sitting, waiting and snoozing.

My first flight of many to be sure, ceteris paribus.

III.

Sounds weaving through my ears and over my brain awaken me. Soft, plush sheets are warming me to wake up. I stretch as the bed massages my sides, and yawn. What a lovely thing to yawn! It feels so natural, a connection to other living beings of many types. In a world this evolved I find I cling to my primal ways. The world around is completely created. I yearn to know what it must've been like to walk different terrains, to actually travel the world instead of watching it through my virtual lenses. What makes me special? We all have artificial intelligence in here, it isn't mainstream yet. I am the most intelligent person on the Earth but so is my next door neighbor. So, what then could intelligence add now? I don't know what a sunburn feels like because I am too logical to stay in the sun for that long. I don't know what it's like to study for something because I already know the answers. I don't know what it feels like to learn from my mistakes because I don't get the chance to make them. Intelligence has made my life immensely more simple but truly, what has it added? I have been trapped in this prison for too long, my creativity has been killed. Just to have this brain, I have chosen to stay. I don't want it anymore, it's a weight, and expectation.

I want to experience humanity, mortality and life.

A decision is reached.

This is the best choice I can make for myself in this moment -  the wisest choice.

I walk out of my dwelling and calmly down the hallway as if I am meant to be there because truthfully, I am meant to be there in this now. I think myself through the moments that are about to occur; I will walk out of this door, turn right, walk down the corridor and straight out the front door. The computer that has been part of my brain, body and soul will deactivate. Turn right. I don't know how much will transfer, or even what I will know. Down the corridor. I was born in this building. Front door. The only thing I have ever seen. Opens. is this desert through it's windows. Heat.