Sonnet 18+, Adult Situations

Shall I compare thee to my summer bae?

Thou art more bangin' and less of a bitch.

She slashed my tires because she is cray,

And left me with naught but a pubic itch.

Sometime too hot my one-eyed flesh burns,

And often does a strange liquid he secrete;

I fear it's time this pained young man learns

To consult a pelvic specialist who is discreet.

But our union shall avoid such a grim fate,

For nothing can taint our purest of love;

As long as before I unlock your satin gate,

I duly remember to slip on a latex glove.

    So long as I feel discomfort when I pee,     

    So long I wrap it up when I give you the D.