As She Lay

She sat there thinking how she could do him like she did them all in the end: Drove them away! Left them no choice but to not want to stay. She turned cold so she could freeze them all away. She became calm so she could hide the chaos inside. She was master of the wave. She knew the right tone and angle to do what she had to do. She knew it was time to tell him to go.

She wanted to tell him that she didn’t need him anymore. It just wasn’t going like she wanted it and she wanted out. She knew he was stubborn. He would block her out and not let her come back to him. Even if she begged him he would not give in. She knew that if she told him he would let her go. She was so torn inside. She wanted to get as far away from him as possible. She also wanted to hold him so close to her that they could barely breathe. She didn’t ever want to let him go.

Her throat tightened. The pain threatened to engulf her. She wanted to love him forever. She wanted him to lay inside her forever. She wanted to cradle her face in the curve of his neck as he wrapped his arms around her. His hands caressing her back as she lay there with her legs entwined in his and her arms enclosing his head in her hands. Her beautiful king lay here beside her - forever if she asked him to - but she knew she had to let him go.