Dear Tumbleweed

Dear Tumbleweed without Roots,

Thank you.

What? Not the book to the back of your head you expected for your selfishness? True, you probably deserve exactly that, but I won't be the one to give you what you deserve. I'm better than that—and I've grown. You see, while you were away I learned a few things.

For that, I thank you.

You found me at my worst: desperate, heartbroken, and terrified. I thank you for taking my hand, as you led me through my darkest time. Scars of battles fought and won, had left me unable to trust, but you broke through that wall. 

For teaching me to trust again, I thank you.

Night after night, you talked to me. You actually listened, which was the craziest part. I’d never been truly heard by a man before.

For teaching me that my thoughts are valuable, I thank you.

As you helped me find my strength to focus and endure through the battle I faced, I came to rely on you. I felt like I needed you to push me, and you did--even beyond what I thought myself capable of doing. You showed me the power of my determination.

For teaching me to ignore the boundaries, I thank you.

When you left, at first I thought my world was crashing in around me because… Well, you were my world.

I lost focus.

I believed I needed you in order to be strong, and I forgot how to be me without you. I wanted to rely on you the way I became accustomed to. The truth is, that first week really sucked. I probably didn't do anything except spill a few coffee cups and tear-stain my favorite pillow.

But not now.

Now, I don't need to check when I see the green light blink on my phone. I know it isn't you.

Now, I don't have to rush to share the latest hilarious thing the kids just did, because I know you aren't there to listen.

Now, I don't feel the need to tell you that I'm going to the store, because you aren't there to notice when I'm gone.

Now, I don't wake up expecting a “good morning” message, because I know it won't be there.

You finally taught me how to no longer miss you—to no longer need you. I know who I am now, without you.

For that, I thank you.

Nostalgically no longer yours,

The Roots from Home.