Why I Believe Writing Most Erotica Is Wrong (A Follow-up to Regarding Erotica on Prose & Regarding Erotica on Prose 2)

Warning: Contains Christian Content

Okay, if the title hasn't turned you off already (no pun intended) then I suppose you will all be posting comments, and if there were a dislike button it would be used a million times. But I believe there are other people out there like me who will agree, even though we may not be the majority. I am not going to tag anyone for this post, as I did for my previous two posts on this subject, because this is an explanation - not an attack or a "Fellow haters of erotica, watch out for these Prosers" or a "So and so, you really need this post so read it."

To me, the reason not to read or write erotica is not a matter of personal preference or taste, it is a matter of belief. And I realize most of you will not believe the same way. This post, my last on the subject, is an explanation of my belief for those who want that explanation, not an attempt to convert you to my beliefs. It's also written for others who feel the same way and need the support of knowing they're not alone (I don't believe I'm the only person on this site who sees reading or writing most erotica as wrong). So skip this post if you're offended or if you disagree. Fine. You can block or unfollow me, if you'd like. Fine. But for those of you who are curious as to my previous postings or want to see if/where we share common ground on this, read on.

A lot of people who commented on my previous posts said "Let's keep Prose an open place, welcome to everybody for whatever they want to write." Well, since it's such an open place, I have as much right to post this as you would to post all the reasons why you believe writing erotica is okay. Maybe what you were really trying to say is that we shouldn't stir up the water or disagree with anybody, that we should live and let live, that we should all get along, that right and wrong don't exist anymore. Yep, everybody these days wants to do what's right in their own eyes, just like before the Flood. I feel it's fair to make this comment because if you don't believe it then it won't bother you. And if you do believe it, you'll agree.

If you write erotica, I am not against you. In fact I might read some of your other work. A lot of commenters to my previous posts are those who write erotica occasionally or often. I still follow some of them on Prose. Even though I do not and will not endorse their writing of erotica, I still respect them as a person, and they write much else that I enjoy. Those who focus wholly on writing erotica or have it as the main theme of their posts, I simply do not follow. It's not an attack on you personally. I recognize your worth as an individual, and believe there is quality of writing to be found in erotica just like in any other type. I just won't be the one to read it. Which is fine. I'm not the only reader on Prose and you're not the only writer. We have a variety in our audience, authors, and genres.

I don't believe Prose should censor our work or require us to. But I don't see why anyone should feel that rating a piece voluntarily or out of consideration for someone's request is a censor. Most movies and video games and cds are rated. It's not just about keeping people from taking offense, it's also about helping people who want to read that stuff find it (and a lot of people on Prose want to). Other writing sites do this. They recognize that most things in life come with labels for identification purposes. That said, if you don't flag it I won't complain. I may not like what you write, but I will defend your right to write it (just as you will defend my right to write this post).

So here's my explanation of why I believe it's wrong to write most erotica. To begin with, I'm a born again Christian, a follower of Jesus Christ. All of the viewpoints I will present stem from that. I won't even get into the effects of erotica on society, or my opinion that erotica is to women what porn is to men. (And by the way, there are women who watch porn and men who read erotica). If I believe something is wrong, where I get those beliefs from far outweighs the value of my opinions.

I get my beliefs from the Bible that most erotica is wrong. By the way, if you are a Christian/believer of the Bible who writes erotica for whatever reason, I am not writing this post to question the validity of your faith or how you practice it. I am writing about my stance on the subject and what I believe the Bible says about it.

Even if you belong to another religion, depending on what it is, you might agree with me on my no-erotica stance. I know a lot of other faiths have a similar rule. Even though you wouldn't use the Bible verses I will to explain why I believe that, you could give the rules of your religion or quotes from your sacred books.

If you've made it this far and disagreed with me since the beginning you might be thinking, "Good grief! This woman must be one of those goodie-goodies who think's she's a holier-than-thou and believes sex is only about having children!" Actually, no. Although my husband and I do have a child. And I do believe that sex should only be between 1 man and 1 woman who are married to each other. But I read a lot of sex info/improvement books, use sex position apps that are non-graphic, and write erotica, though only about my husband and myself. And I enjoy all this probably as much if not more than the rest of the world enjoys whatever they do. I don't post any of the erotica I write, for the obvious reasons it's personal. But I'm not perfect. There has been one time I did write something and submit it to a contest (not on Prose), that had an erotic theme not related to my spouse or I, and immediately regretted it.

Here are my beliefs on erotica:

What erotica is: While the tolerance levels regarding erotica are subjective, the definition of it is not. Merriam-Webster defines it as the following:

(1) of, devoted to, or tending to arouse sexual love or desire

(2) strongly marked or affected by sexual desire

In essence, erotica is the description (often graphic, or containing imagery-whether merely written or "enhanced" with photographs) of sexual acts or body parts, for the excitement of the reader or to portray the excitement of the person involved.

Writing can still contain sexual terms or references that don't fit the definition of erotica, simply because sex is part of life.  You can usually tell early on when starting to read something. The motive/agenda of the writer determines whether the piece is erotic or not, no matter how much sex it contains. For instance, a self-help book on recovering from a partner's affair would not be considered erotic although it would contain many references to sex. Neither would the account written by the victim of sexual abuse or date rape fit this category. They may give the same details, but I guarantee you they will not present them the same way or for the same purpose.

When erotica is wrong: I believe if a man and woman are married to each other, whatever they want to do sexually together or about each other is allowed. Hebrews 13:4 a states "Marriage is honorable in all, and the bed undefiled:" I believe anything outside of that is wrong. 

Here's why:

I believe marriage is only between one man and one woman for one lifetime. Genesis 2:24 -“Therefore shall a man leave his father and his mother, and shall cleave unto his wife: and they shall be one flesh.” (This was the first marriage, between the first people created. If God also endorsed the idea of polygamy or lesbian/gay marriages, He would have made sure to add that and tell us so).

I believe anything sexual before marriage is wrong. 1 Thessalonians 4:3 - "For this is the will of God, even your sanctification, that ye should abstain from fornication:" Fornication is the old word for immorality.

I believe adultery is wrong, whether emotional physical or both. Exodus 20:14 - "Thou shalt not commit adultery." We all know adultery is a relationship with someone not your spouse that violates the agreement between the two of you.

I believe that erotica fits the definition of lust, and that lust is wrong. Romans 13:14 says “...make not provision for the flesh, to fulfil the lusts thereof.” Webster-Marriam defines lust as:

1 - obsolete

a : pleasure, delight

b : personal inclination : wish

2 - usually intense or unbridled sexual desire : lasciviousness

3

a : an intense longing : craving

b : enthusiasm, eagerness

This is why I believe erotica is wrong. I could give many more supporting Bible verses if you felt these weren't sufficient, but if you don't believe the Bible to begin with they wouldn't make a difference to you.

So, in short, I believe from what the Bible teaches that erotica used outside of a marriage opposite sex relationship is wrong, and that the erotica is to be only about one or both of the people within that marriage relationship. I call this the "Just Us" filter. 

"But even if I wanted to follow this (which I would never) it's so restrictive!" you complain.  I didn't come up with these rules, Jesus Christ did. And no one's forcing you to believe in Him or the Bible. No one forced me to. I chose to believe it and follow what it says, unpopular as it may be. And I didn't incorporate these guidelines into my life only after I was conveniently married, either.  These were my beliefs before I ever met my husband. It's difficult, but it can be done. Not that I wanted to. But my relationship with Jesus is real to me, and if these were the rules, I figured He had a good reason for them since He's God. I decided since I was going to follow Him, it would be with all my heart, however hard that was.

So this is why I believe most erotica is wrong. Thanks for reading this. I would say good luck with your writing except I don't believe in luck (but that's another post). I could say "God bless"  but if you don't believe in God you probably wouldn't want it.  And if you're writing erotica, you already know from this post that I don't think He endorses it. So I think I'll stop here.

Note: All of the verses were from the KJV to avoid copyright issues, not because "it's the only Bible to use." And I picked the Webster-Merriam dictionary at random to get my definitions from. Any other dictionary would be just as fine.