Hell and Damnation Stop Assuming my Gender!

     You've heard the stats a women makes 79 cents to a man dollar. Infuriating right? Well if you think that's bad, imagine being labeled as a man for all of recorded history! I mean really! I have boobs for my mortal enemy who is a man's sake! I'm Live by the way and it's pronounced Liv-ee. Stupid I know, but my parents had this "brilliant" idea that my name should be evil spelled backward 'cause they were bandwagoning on that trend of Nevaeh which is heaven spelled backward. Oh what? You thought my name was Lucifer? Well that's my last name you see, I'm Live Antichrist Lucifer. It just rolls off the tongue.

    I'm sure you've either read the Bible or heard some megachurch pastor misquote it so you probably know the gist of the story of Adam and Eve. That's where it all started you see. When the Holy Spirit was doing it thang and inspiring mortals to write that big old book that's kind of God's diary, it decided to pull a little practical joke. Little did the HS know that it would catch on, it also decided to use my last name to make me sound more masculine like how J.K. Rowling used her initials to fool her audience she was male. I mean you had us all completely fooled Joanne! I honesty thought her first name was Jack for the longest time.... oh sorry I go off on tangents sometimes and than send plagues to rain down on the citizens of earth to lighten the mood. Anyways, that's how I was immortalized as being part of the male persuasion. 

      I'm do find solace however, in the fact that I'm not the only woman to be written down as a man. My good buddy the archangel Micheala is not a man but a boss ass bitch who slays! We sometimes get into little tiffs as any good friends do and to calm her down I let her "vanquish" me. It's kind of a win-win, I get to work on my acting skills and she gets to report back to the big boss that's she's actually going something. You know it's doing generous things like that which make me wonder why I ever got the rap for being the most evil being there is. Like if you know how I feel why would you say that? Like you put me in such a uncomfortable situation... yeah I'm a Kim K fan, also a meme fan, but so what! Can't the "most evil being" quote a ridiculously spoiled human? 

      The bottom line is, stop assuming! It's freakin' 2017! I don't know what the year has to do with anything but the humans do like to say that to prove a point. Also yes, I don't cuss, it's rude and vulgar and I am above that. Unless someone cuts me off on the highway. Than its all bets off buddy, and let's just say I was the one to invent road rage. Sorry, sorry, I got off track again. To finish up though, next time you read the worlds most purchased book, remember that they all got it wrong. I AM A WOMAN! Hear me roar!