She is the Devil and she lives in my house

Who is Lucifer? Translated from Hebrew it means, “shining one, light-bearer.” From Greek it literally means “bringer of dawn.” What a load of bullshit!

Who is Lucifer? Take all those misconceptions away right now. First off, Lucifer is a female. That's right, now deal with it and let's move on. Second, she lives in my house.

My husband found her wandering in a open field one day a few months back. He decided to bring her home and get her back to good health. She was such a pretty little thing once we got her cleaned up and fed. Her orange hair glistens in the sun and her green eyes penetrate down to your very soul. Her beauty concealed her true-self for a short while. Her sharp fangs and retractable claws added to her mystical beauty and exposed her darkness within.

That's right Lucifer is a cat: a lioness, a queen of her realm.

I know the truth. My husband is too blinded by his “little ray of sunshine” to see the evil within. When he is home she behaves. Doesn't get on the counter. Always uses her litter box. Sits on his lap and purrs. Even rubs up on my leg like she loves me. “Sadistic bitch.”

When he isn't home, she is the Devil incarnate. She scratches and destroys my favorite clothes. Pees on my only work uniform right before I have to change to leave. One day she brought in her fresh “kill” and placed it on my lunch plate while I was eating. Well actually, she didn’t kill it so the thing woke up and jumped at my face causing me to fall backwards off the bench at our table; it hurt to walk for a week after that. I kid you not. She even left the head of one of her kills on my pillow! I woke up one morning unable to breathe with her lying over my face.

Right now she is sitting on the kitchen counter bathing herself. She’s staring at me with that all too knowing look. I don't allow her on the kitchen counter, a fact she is well aware of, ”She’s such a little shit!” I reach for the spray bottle and she stops mid-stroke of her tongue on her paw. She doesn't lose eye contact with me. I hesitate in my resolve.

I can see the warning in her eyes. Do it and you'll regret it later.

I weigh the satisfaction of washing the smug off that pretty little face. I wonder, what the hell will her retaliation be?

I'm convinced this cat came straight from hell. Okay, “FUCK IT!” I aim and pull the trigger.