When Everything is Too Far Away

I'm laying here tonight, thinking.

About society and how I just fucking want...everything.

I want to be hot,

Sexy,

Beautiful.

I want to be smart,

Independent,

Desirable.

I want to be witty,

Fun,

Clever.

I want to be charismatic,

Loved,

Cherished.

I want to be important,

Wanted,

Remembered.

I want to be respected,

Rich,

Admired.

I want to be wild,

Fun,

Carefree.

You can see that I want to be everything.

Everything that's perceived as success.

I want it all.

How cliché, right?

But I remember something, lying here alone, poor, and next to none of all of those things listed above.

I count the ones I have.

My family, they love me,

Cherish me.

My friends, as few as they are, think I'm fun,

And clever.

My teachers, they know me as smart,

Though not carefree.

I have some things.

And it's okay, I think, to not have it all.

I'm not sexy, or beautiful, by the standard of all,

But I'm trying,

To be better in that way as well.

I'm working,

On a lot of things.

To be independent, for one,

To reach that point where stress doesn't control me,

To be rich,

Once I get that job that lights my soul on fire,

Or do something else that does the same.

My passion is there some days,

Others it's harder to find,

But I am comforted in the knowledge that I have made a small difference in my life,

So far,

And that makes me happy,

Even if it won't necessarily be remembered for long.

When your everything is too far away,

Look closely for the some things you have.

They will be enough,

Forever,

And now.