Hanky Panky

Corir and Skol were waiting in the same chamber.

“What are you doing in those clothes?” asked Skol.

“I’m Earl of Manach,” said Clee. “Why can’t you clean up the bodies at least?”

“This is quite fitting for a dragon’s audience chamber,” said Corir. “We can imagine them away, if you like.”

“I’m fine with reality,” said Clee. “What are your plans for Orvma?”

“How are you getting along with the others?” said Skol.

“We’re very interested in seeing you ripen,” said Corir.

“We’re all getting along just fine,” said Clee.

“Then you’re not trying hard enough,” said Corir. “You ought to be putting tension on them, like a team of horses.”

“Is that what you do?” asked Clee.

The dragons looked at each other. “No help here,” said Corir. “Remember?”

“So what do you want of me?” asked Clee.

“What’s King Jason going to do next?” asked Skol.

“They want you for a palace spy,” said Danan. “Don’t help them!”

“He’s wondering what you’re going to do next,” said Clee aloud. “And he’s wondering what Gepeth and Konon are going to do about the Xee.”

“And?” said Corir.

“He sent me to my room to think about it, and discuss it tonight,” said Clee. “And then Argomath came for me.”

“You’re not very inquisitive,” said Skol.

“Well I’m not a spy,” said Clee. “What I was thinking was, I could be a courier between you and the King.”

“One reason I gave you Pelena to play with was to get into palace intrigues,” said Corir. “Get onto that, for your own sake.”

“An earl can do no less,” said Skol.

“I’ll try,” said Clee.

“You’ll do better than try, or you’ll get your throat cut,” said Corir. “Who’s in the top running for replacement Queen of Orvma?”

“I was sent away when they started talking about it,” said Clee. “I think you’re being overly mysterious and also assuming I’m going to help you.”

“Well it’s because you don’t obey orders, we don’t tell you too much,” said Skol.

“And also, we want you to develop your own capabilities,” said Corir.

“You could help me right now by telling the King what you have planned for Orvma,” said Clee. “That way I bring something to the table.”

’We had planned to begin worship of Baal,” said Skol.

“And Omto,” said Corir. “But you’ve made that very difficult.”

“The Xee are in Manach. Will you fight them if the King marches?” asked Clee.

’Yes. Tell the King yes,” said Skol.

“And tell him to come collect the bodies of his priests and his Queen,” said Corir. “We won’t interfere in that.”

“Do you sleep?” asked Clee.

The dragons looked at each other. “Next you’ll ask about our body armor,” said Skol.

“Just assume we’re always alert and we’ll get on fine,” said Corir. “That’s all, my lord of Manach.”

“My lords,” said Clee, bowing, as he was wafted backwards through the air.

“That went well,” thought Danan.

“You did well standing up for yourself,” thought Ignatius.

“Summon Stannak and speak to him alone when we get back,” thought Pelena. “It’s time you started to intrigue.”

“That’s all right, Argomath,” said Clee aloud. “I prefer to walk home.”

“Sorry my lord,” said Argomath, “ I have my orders as well. Got to make an impression on the populace.”

“Oh very well,” said Clee, and rode the rest of the way home silently.

He jumped through the open window, and nearly shouted when he saw Banas lying on the bed.

“Well look who’s out of his room without permission,” said Banas.

“What are you doing in my room?”

“What are you doing out of it?”

“I was talking to the dragons,” said Clee. There was no point pretending to keep that a secret.

“Show off” said Banas. He leapt to his feet. “I don’t like you Henren sorcerers. For two bits I’d have you packed off to the Northlands. Don’t think I couldn’t manage it!” he snarled. “But as it happens, I tend to think you actually do want to serve his Majesty. And that’s why I’m bothering with you, imp.”

“What’s that?” asked Clee.

“My sister, the Countess Amalda, is going to be the next Queen of Orvma,” said Banas. “Does that shock you, sorcerer?”

“That bitch!” thought Pelena.

“Not particularly,” said Clee aloud.

“Well she is. We’ve been working on it for years. Since before Amalda was born. In a way, it’s just as well Pelena got herself roasted when she did,” said Banas. “But what I was thinking, I was thinking you want to serve His Majesty. You want to do the right thing by him. You want to be the one to suggest he marry Amalda.”

“Stall,” thought Danan.

“I’ll think it over,” said Clee.

That enraged Banas. “What’s to think over?”

“I think everything over,” said Clee. “I tell you honestly, part of me doesn’t care if Amalda becomes Queen. Part of me wants to stay out of it. And part of me hates your guts.”

“Just stay out of my family’s way, Clee,” said Banas, jerking the door open.

“Two things, Banas,” said Clee.

“What’s that?”

“The dragons asked me who was the likely next Queen of Orvma,” said Clee. “Should I tell them?”

“And the other thing?” said Banas.

“Does Amalda love the King?”

“Oh no,” said Banas. “Oh no you don’t. Don’t try to make me think you a fool, Clee.” And he left.

“Send for Stannak,” thought Pelena. “Right now.”

“Page!” yelled Clee down the hall. And he asked to see the royal butler.

“Ask him if the King’s meat goes for half price on the black market,” thought Pelena.

“What?”

“Just do it. And then ask for the same information Banas is getting. You don’t have to get it first. In fact, he can tell Banas you asked for it.”

“It’s sad, the web spun by sin,” thought Ignatius.

“Oh, shut up.”

Stannak came down the hall with a retinue. “You called, my lord?”

“I’ll see you alone, Stannak,” said Clee.

The butler’s red face turned a greasy pallor when Clee asked about the black market.

“That’s an ignoble accusation, my lord,” he stammered.

“None of my concern,” said Clee. “Just see that whatever you tell Banas, you tell me. For instance, what’s tonight’s report?”

“The Lady Hannah stopped by and found you out of your room. She hasn’t told the King yet. The Dukes of Nonad and Repal have their own relatives in mind for the throne, but could be persuaded to support Amalda. Amalda, that’s the sister—“

“Yes, I know. What else?”

“Nothing of substance, my lord…”

“Then share with me a trifle. I’ll find it out from my demons anyhow.”

The butler turned green. “Demons?”

“How do you think I found out about the meat?”

The butler seemed to collapse. “The priests of the hinterland are ready to rise up if the King abandons the LORD. Amalda’s engagement will appease their worries. If she’s rejected, then…”

“Alright Stannak. You may go.” Clee opened the door and the butler oozed out like jelly. “Oh, and it’s very sad Stannak.”

“My lord?”

“The web woven by sin.” He closed the door and went to the bed, threw himself on it.

A knock came from the door. He went and opened it. A woman in a fine dress stood stooping in the hall. “Quickly, quickly,” she said, and rushed past him into his room.

“Hello?” said Clee.

She giggled. “Royal command.” She held out a hand. “I’m the Lady Hannah.”

“Oh,” said Clee, shaking her hand. “I’m Clee—the Earl of Manach.”

“Skip that silly,” said Hannah. “I don’t go around calling myself Princess.”

“Princess?” said Clee.

“Of course. I’m the King’s third cousin. Cousin Jason sent me.”

“Oh. What’s the message?” asked Clee.

Hannah giggled, undid her shoulder brooch, let her dress fall off.

Clee had seen naked women before, living among the Henren. He did not see anything significant in Hannah disrobing before him.

“Why that no good, low down, stinking, bilge rat of a whores son bastard,” thought Pelena.

“Disgraceful!” thought Ignatius.

“Uh, Clee,” thought Danan. “What you’re being offered, that is, what you must do here…”

“He mustn’t!” thought Ignatius.

“He must,” thought Danan. “He’s the king’s favored.”

“King’s favored!” hissed Pelena, which was impressive for thinking. “COUSIN!”

“What are you talking about,” thought Clee.

“It’s what you’re not thinking, that’s the concern,” sighed Danan.

“He mustn’t!” thought Ignatius.

“Oh, didn’t you hear confessions,” thought Danan.

“Um,” said Clee. “I need time to think.”

“Oh really?” sniffed Hannah, hands on her bare hips.

“Oh here,” thought Pelena. “Do what I say, without thinking twice about it…”

*********************************************

“Disgraceful!” thought Ignatius. “All the worse because you don’t regret it!”

“Mmmmm” said Hannah, nuzzling Clee. “You’re very good.”

“Better than the slut deserves,” thought Pelena.

’That uh,” thought Danan, “that, uh, was really, uh…”

“We’re supposed to be a Christian people,” thought Ignatius.

“Hannah? You don’t mind that I’m…burnt?”

“No silly. Not when you can love me like that.” She curled into a ball. “Yay.”

Clee sat up. “Thanks.”

“Clee? You weren’t in your room when I came earlier. I had to tell the King. See, he sent me.”

“That’s all right. I’d better go see him now. It’s evening and I want to report to him.” Clee got up, put on his veil and gloves, robe and sash, and turban. Hannah watched him dress.

“Clee?”

“Yes, Hannah?”

“What do you think about Amalda as Queen of Orvma? You’re for it, aren’t you?”

Clee gawked at her, then left the room.

Hannah called “CLEE! You’re barefoot!”

He came back, put on his boots, left without saying anything.

*************************************

King Jason was preparing for his evening tour of the city. “Ah, Manach, just the man. Well rested?” laughed the King, elbowing Clee hard in the ribs.

“Clee,” thought Pelena, “if you dare brag, I will never speak to you again.”

“Hardly, your Majesty,” said Clee.

“Haw haw,” laughed the King. “Ride out with me.”

The trumpeters blared the royal salute, and they began to march. Clee felt sore in his lower body, and wished he could beg off the long ride.

“You disobeyed me, Clee,” said Jason mildly.

“I was summoned by the dragons,” said Clee. “They asked me who was in the lead for new Queen of Orvma.”

“Did they! And perhaps they are the only ones not pushing for Amalda!”

Clee choked. “I was asked to put it to your Majesty.”

“And will you?” Jason looked at him hard.

“The priests of the hinterland will stay loyal if you marry Amalda.”

The King gaped.

“For myself, I note the lady doesn’t love you,” said Clee.

“I should say not! She’s a spoiled brat!”

“Your Majesty should know better than I,” said Clee.

“What else have you heard?” asked the King.

“The dragons will fly against the Xee if you ride. They wished to start worship of Baal and Omto in the city, but are confounded in that we fought the Xee in the name of the LORD. They asked me to involve myself in palace intrigue,” said Clee.

“You’re uncommon straightforward,” said the King. “It makes me glad.”

“I’m for you,” said Clee. “And honesty comes naturally to me.”

’Yes, and I’m for you, Clee. You’re an honest man, and well, how did you enjoy Hannah?”

“That pig!” thought Pelena.

“Shhhh…” thought Ignatius. “I think I know what’s coming. The boy will need our counsel.”

“Quiet”, thought Danan.

“…hasn’t told me,” said the King, “but , well, you are a man’s man, aren’t you?”

“I guess I am,” said Clee. “If I get your meaning.”

“And discreet. That’s good. That’s very good.

“I got word from Konon and Gepeth today,” continued the King. “Gepeth wants to remain idle. They berate me for allowing the Temple to be isolated. Konon now…has all but declared war.”

“War?”

“Read this,” the King said.

“I can’t—oh wait, let me try,” said Clee. He looked at the letters, and Ignatius read for him:

YOU HAVE BETRAYED THE LORD AND HE HAS GIVEN YOUR KINGDOM TO THE ARMY OF RIGHTEOUSNESS

“Foolishness,” said the King. “Konon is beyond the great desert, and no army can pass across it, righteous or not.”

“So what is the problem? Majesty.”

“I need Gepeth to remain neutral. I’d marry a daughter of Gepeth, but, they aren’t that close to us, and frankly, it looks like you’re right about Amalda. I need the hinterland more than ever now.

“So I’m building contacts with Gepeth. I’m giving gifts of arms, and I’ve agreed one of their prelates can be Patriarch of the Temple here. I’m not hiring any of the sorcerers coming here seeking my patronage. And well, there’s one other thing I can do for Gepeth. And you.

“I’m sending you south to marry.”

“Majesty?”

“Hoo boy, thought so,” thought Ignatius. “That’s what comes of dropping your pants around royalty.”

’Agree,” thought Pelena.

“You’re stuck, boy,” thought Danan.

“I’m not really asking you, Manach. You’re ordered to Gepeth to marry. You’ll meet your bride on the border and marry there. You’ll come north with her and leave her in the City.

“You’re too open to be caught between me and the dragons. You’re loyal so I trust you in Gepeth. You’ve offended Banas, but you’ve done him the favor he asked you, so he won’t be set against you. –Think— about things as you go, and come back better prepared.

“You need this breathing space, and I need whatever aid you can bring north with your bride. You’ll leave me tomorrow.”

“But I thought I’d be at your side for years,” said Clee. “You’re the only live friend I’ve got.”

“You wound me, Clee. But what Jason would do for Clee, well, it’s not what the King can do for the Earl.”

“But—“

“No buts, Manach. Obey me in this. For both our sakes.”

“But—what’s her name?”