The Last Words of Angels

I'm still here, but you're not.

I'm still that child, who goes playing the meadows of flowers and rolling around in those green pastures, that child who still plays with bubbles and plays with food, that child who finds everything funny and laughs at everything, that child who doesn't get hurt by words or betrayal, that child who lives in such blissful ignorance.

You were here, just like me, a few years ago. But then you grew up. You stopped playing in the meadows with me, stopped rolling around in pastures with me, stopped playing with food and playing with bubbles, stopped laughing with me and you distanced yourself from me altogether.

I haven't heard your laughter for months. You get hurt so much. Every time I see you, your eyes are downcast, and I see something breaking slowly and painfully inside them. Your fire is gone, your smile has disappeared, your eyes are sunken and bloodshot and your shoulders are hunched as though they carry the weight of the world.

They say it's beautiful to see a child grow up, but I don't agree. I think it's scary. They grow up so fast. This, I agree, and it's heartbreaking. What's happened to you, older sister? Why is it that you hide away in your room alone every night? Why is it that when I go into your room in the morning, your pillow is wet and the little vegetable knife on your table is stained with crimson?

I see the lines that adorn your skin. I think they are rather pretty, pink, white and red, decorating your wrists. Though, I don't think I'd like to have some of my own. 

Now I play alone in the meadows, roll around alone in the green pastures, play with bubbles by myself, laugh alone. It's so lonely without you here. You don't play with me anymore. You don't even love me anymore, do you?

If this is growing up, I don't want to. I want to stay young forever, to keep my halo and my wings. Yours have been ripped away from you, but I'm keeping mine. 

Please, someone, I beg you to save me before I begin to fall. Please, save me. Let me stay like this, stay a child forever. I don't want to grow up.

But if one day, I do grow up, then let this be the last words of an angel.