THE BRIGHT RED HITCHHIKING SQUIRREL

   Once upon a time, there was a squirrel. But this is no ordinary squirrel. This was a bright red squirrel. And one day this squirrel said, “Bull honkey! I’m sick of Ontario, Land of Lakes, 1,000 Islands – I’m outta here!” So the bright red squirrel put on his bright red sweater, tied his bright red bandanna to his bright red broomstick, and off he went. A little while on, the bright red squirrel came to a road, and he stood at the side of the road, and he stuck his little thumb in the air, and he waited. And waited. And waited some more. Now, let me get this straight. When I say little thumb, I mean really little. Like, a REALLY TINY thumb. So tiny that none of the passing cars even saw it. So this this bright red squirrel was sitting there. And he was still waiting. And eventually he said, “Bull honkey! This is stupid – I’m outta here!” So he went home, and he took off his sweater, and he put his bandanna away, and he screwed his broomstick back into the broom bottom, and he turned on the TV. And the bright red hitchhiking squirrel said to himself, “Bull honkey! I’m not doing that again!” And the bright red VIDEO GAMING squirrel put his bright red Call of Duty: Black Ops 3 disk into his bright red Xbox 360 and played until three in the morning.