Your Fists Of Words

You played with my emotions like a little rag doll

You grabbed right onto the red braids not even caring enough to see that its little pink cheeks were wet with tears

You made me feel as though I was not good enough

As though I did nothing for you

You made me feel like I was so lucky to have someone like you who loves me

You continuously told me that I was lucky you even want me

You told me that no other guy would ever want someone like me

I believed you; I let every single word you said run through my mind.

I gripped onto each word like a leech

You drained me of my worth and beat me down to nothing with your fists of words

If only emotional abuse scarred my skin the way physical abuse did

Maybe then you'd see that your words and your demeanor are the reason why I was so broken

Maybe if your patronizing statements bludgeoned my skin

The way a punch would leave spots of purple and blue on my tender flesh, you'd notice how much you hurt me

You watched me burn like a cigarette to ash You picked up my heart made of glass and threw it against the concrete

You told me that it was my fault you threw it

Redundant apologies; you told me you were sorry

You glued all of the little glass pieces together and promised things would be different

With hesitation I handed you my mangled heart

The way your eyes flickered with malevolence when you looked at me while gripping my fragile heart was a punch to the gut; the impact so forceful I felt the wind knocked out of me

In that moment the feeling of regret was suffocating

You threw it down so hard the sound of breaking glass was ear piercing

You stomped on it until all that was left were shattered pieces

This time I picked up those pieces and put them together on my own

I've built walls of steal around my healing heart that are impenetrable

You took a piece of me with you when you broke me but now I am making myself whole without you

I am immune to the touch of your manipulation and I've learned how to block those punches

I am now the ruler of my own land;

Valleys of skin, mountains of bone, rivers of blood, and waterfalls of tears

Clouds of thoughts, and blooming flowers of emotions

This is my land and never again will I accept for someone to take that away from me