My sincerest apologies...

Waking up to the putrid smell of your sweat soaked body, taking it, as it's the only thing you know anymore. Mouth of rotting sweet nothings. Setting your cold toes on the frigid floor, turning a deep purple, enough to fill the rainbows we used to enjoy. Phased not by the nipping of the frosting air at your bare feet, but more so by the empty cold next to you. Covers thrown back. Tear stains sprinkle the worn out sheets like the powder freckles he had running across warm, pale skin. In. Out. Air in your lungs, the lungs that used to call out his name in nights like this. Now every breath is another reminder of the tormenting. He did it. The sheets. The sheets still retain him, like holding on for dear life. It's your musk, your cinnamon smell, your home scent. Masked. Masked by infidelity. Fading away like the life in love. The dust is starting to pile, the clothes starting to go stale. The water no longer fresh, the hair no longer soft. Draining. 

Fingers roaming into the night, soft kisses on rough lips. Fading away, changing to squeaky door knobs at night, patter of soft footsteps. A dip in the bed late at night, no more soft kisses. 

Forgive me for what I could not provide, come back.

It consumes you, infidelity. A monster with in a monster, off setting the lives of the innocent. It's dark hand cloaking your mind, and in one snatch, you left. 

What was given by her? What could I not administer? Shoulders aching, heart racing, tears falling, screams unleashing, plates crashing and...for what? Silence. She had something I did not. And I give my sincerest apologies for failing you. I've lost the bright in my eyes, the little sparkle in the center of muddy circles. You took that with you, along with my heart. You took it all to give to another. Maybe it was just that, the muddy circles, are hers of the forest? Or the ocean to match? Does she have a whiter smile, a softer laugh? Will you give her the ring? The one you took.

The ring no longer worn. Tarnished. Like the image you left behind. Infidelity. What an exquisite word. Noun. Unfaithfulness; disloyalty. That is your name now. Not Oliver or Jacob or anything else you bother to change it to. You are infidelity. And I have never stopped loving you.