Dissociation

You wave your hand in front of my face trying to snap me out of my daze

You say that I seemed hypnotized

When I laugh and nonchalantly say I had spaced out; you don't understand what I truly mean

How would you?

When I used the term spaced out, I meant it in a completely literal way; it was as if my soul and inner self were off in space somewhere

Another little spec of light floating around within the endless universe,

And the shell of me was the one sitting there in a trance

In actuality the real me was off in a whole other world; like I've been separated from my own body

What you don't understand is that you didn't snap me out of my daze

This trance is never ending

I'm a ghost watching my life unfold from the sidelines

I don't even know what team I'm cheering for

I'm constantly looking down at my hands

Moving them, observing them, wiggling my fingers as if they are foreign objects

That's exactly what they feel like

As I sit there, my entire being torn in two,

Part of me on the sidelines watching

The other part empty and going through the motions

I'm left wondering,

What is reality? Is this a dream?